Open Poetry #34 |
Whitewashed |
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
There is this hurt, that crawls up through the inside of me, reaching lips that wish to scream yet nothing will come. Nothing will come but emptiness, non importance, non priority which I should have known from the start that someone who has never committed to anyone probably lacks the skills to do so. A crutch he use to say, I was using him as a crutch, when all I wanted was a step in life that included loving and feeling loved. Is that what a crutch is? Never leaning on, unless for warmth and need of touch. But is that a crutch? Then to be tossed away when everything heals? I am ashamed of myself for caring for trying, for trying longer than anyone else would because I felt something there, hidden among the shadows, behind the masks, trying to bring it out for all to see, or at least for me to see with eyes that never judged, never could judge because that is not me. It's written on the walls, just too pale for me to have noticed. All this time, whitewashed for effect and me still wearing those blinders because I feel of heart waiting always waiting... for what? Words that can't be said? Touches that can't be felt? Space that can't be filled? There is a need to harden myself, to change the make up of me but how do you do that... How do you change when your years before have taught you to be who you are today? M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." |
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© Copyright 2005 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
never change who you are for someone else this aches M |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
"There is a need to harden myself, to change the make up of me but how do you do that... How do you change when your years before have taught you to be who you are today" I hope not. I think the real you is the important you. This hurts. God Bless! JL |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
agreeing totally with JL darlin...under stress..confusion, pain, people tend to say things they don't really mean... and you are your best friend...besides all of us, of course, don't forget that...be good to you...right now, words can be so manipulated and torn, assuming and cruel... Blessings to you and hugs |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
never change a heart that strains to see the good, that flows to heal the wounded, that chooses to see the fruit amongst the thorns - there are too few of such hearts around these days I send you heart hugs Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
It's far more economical to try and patch up what's already in front of us than start shopping for something new. Between inflation and the ego/captitalistic facade in most presentations, promising well beyond what's inside the package, it's less stressful to try and put cardboard in the bottom of the shoe or retreads on the old clunker. "I knew if I'd have screamed I'd be gone. It would take me with it, my insides and outsides too." -John Edgar Wideman (Pittsburgh Poet) Poets against the war is redundant |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Do not be ashamed M~ ever.... remember that some people paint pictures that do not really exist but within a mind. You need not toughen up dear, but merely look past the shadows and step into the light. Heart hugs..... The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
it makes you better |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
There is this hurt, that crawls up through the inside of me, reaching lips that wish to scream yet nothing will come. Maureen, I have been choked with this feeling so many times until I learned one thing - you can't change who you are or change anyone else. Sometimes accepting this can be painfully lonely until ... that moment when the void becomes filled. I will wish for you a moment such as that. |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Maureen, my friend, always be who you are. Never change yourself for anyone. |
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