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Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2005-01-19 02:36 PM

You can’t dance if your eyes
are tied behind your back
or
if the room lacks a rhythm
one associates with reverie*

Life in 5/4 Time

I’ve learned to move within these confines,
to step on the upbeat. My timing is off,
you say. You watch me tap and stomp,
but it’s my shimmy your eyes want.

My hands are a mime’s,
they strike against invisible walls.
Your imagination fills with hands
and walls being struck.

There is music in this:
I hear a jazz trumpet parting clouds;
you listen to whole notes float up from pipes.
Both cry a chorus of release.

We both know: songs and dances
begin and end.

*forward written by my friend, Michael McCrandall

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2005-01-19 02:39 PM

Well, standing back and taking this in...

First, invite that friend of yours to join...

second...

it's good to see you writing.

You make me hungry, y'know?

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2005-01-19 02:40 PM

excellent prose and visuals...

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

3 posted 2005-01-19 04:19 PM

Absolutely wonderful write.
I was there, it really drew me in.

JL

Daniel J D
Senior Member

since 2000-10-01

Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia

4 posted 2005-01-19 05:45 PM

Beautiful! Thank you.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

time prophet
Member

since 2003-07-30

Posts 371
In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees

5 posted 2005-01-19 05:49 PM

Now that fills the imagination. Enjoyed the images.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

6 posted 2005-01-19 06:36 PM

Fascinatingly effective write...

I enjoyed reading this one, like many other works from you in the past.

Regards
Sudhir

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

7 posted 2005-01-19 06:43 PM

Cannot argue that this is excellently done,
Cor. And it is good to see ya around the
halls again.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

8 posted 2005-01-19 06:58 PM

Amazing write....

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

9 posted 2005-01-19 09:43 PM

"My hands are a mime’s,
they strike against invisible walls.
Your imagination fills with hands
and walls being struck."

Very nice imagery here. I enjoyed this poem a great deal.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

10 posted 2005-01-20 01:27 PM

Thanks guys!

First poem in a while. My mind's been on strike for some reason. Thanks for the welcome back, too!

Corinne

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