"Hurt me enough and I will go"

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Open Poetry #34

"Hurt me enough and I will go"

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2005-01-14 08:43 PM

This is A SONG i made up and STUCK IN MY head. so I decided to share

"Hurt me enough and I will go"

Hurt me so sweat
Hurt me oh so
hurt me enough
and I will go

Please give me any one name
So I'll never be the same
Kiss my hand and grant me fame
I will play blind in this game

Hurt me so sweat
Hurt me oh so
hurt me enough
and I will go

Sing a song for this weak heart
Then watch me fall all a part
know me not and call me art
Then we will end as we start

Hurt me so sweat
Hurt me oh so
hurt me enough
and I will go

When I say I'll leave, I'll stay
Even if I go away
and I am left in dismay
I will love you everyday

-Juju

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2005-01-14 08:56 PM

I really like the last stanza -

did you mean hurt me so sweet? curious-

It has a good rhythm to it too -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

2 posted 2005-01-14 09:13 PM

Yes actually I did meen tha thank you for catching that. I am glad I kept in meter
Thank you,

Juju

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2005-01-14 09:14 PM

Juju, this is lovely.

... and yes the rhythm is there!

Love, Margherita

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

4 posted 2005-01-17 02:32 PM

Thank you!

JUju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

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