re-genesis - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2004-10-26 05:54 AM

darkness - darkness
I am Nod
weave aware
the lines of her
I broke the brittle
charcoal stick
making dots
her eyes
are this
as the whites
are tasty eggs
teasing at my tongue.

I dream

smooth

a sideways circumstance
drifting
with the calm
of this
my wrist
is stroking
where I want

lips
a pout
and dreams
of it
like the serpent
beckoning
Eve
to take the taste

a kiss

slithering the fork

I miss

the anguish of the choice...

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

1 posted 2004-10-26 06:29 AM

omg...

I was so drawn into this, Serenity....excellent poem!

**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2004-10-26 07:05 AM

*nod*

agony of choice.

Well done Karen.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2004-10-26 07:18 AM

You never fail
with your words,
or where you
want to take us.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2004-10-26 07:42 AM

serenity,
Involved enough to make me LOL Your beautiful.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 2004-10-26 07:45 AM

WHAO! you collapse me m'lady.

and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between

~ani difranco~

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

6 posted 2004-10-27 10:25 AM

so cool and crisp , i like the
sharpness in this poem
~w

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

7 posted 2004-10-27 10:30 AM

good grief! This just drew me in and kept me in pause mode until the ending then bam....
your so damn good at this!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2004-10-27 12:29 PM

Me loves when you are candle dancing me lovely Sen.

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine ...
I've been eating poetry.

Mark Strand

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-10-27 04:52 PM

thank you

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

10 posted 2004-10-28 05:38 PM

Umm

and I am haunted
by my illicit exquisite dream
but I can't really wake up
so I just drift in between

~ani difranco~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

11 posted 2004-10-28 05:49 PM

.....Damn!!
Fantastic write lady~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

12 posted 2004-10-28 07:41 PM

Wow! Absoloutely, amazingly, wonderfully, incredibly... there i've exhausted my vocabulary. Great writing and muchly enjoyed.

Andrew

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

13 posted 2004-10-29 02:29 PM

ah yes... it always does something to me to read you...

Well done Lady 'Awlens...

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

14 posted 2005-01-24 03:42 PM

"lips
a pout
and dreams
of it
like the serpent
beckoning
Eve
to take the taste

a kiss

slithering the fork

I miss

the anguish of the choice..."

No one says it like you, K...

and this?...

needs to go back to the top... smile

love you, lady...
"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

15 posted 2005-01-24 06:24 PM

Amazing write!

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

16 posted 2005-01-24 08:19 PM

I like How you use words

Juju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

17 posted 2005-01-24 09:31 PM

i like the concept... nod (

)

suggestion - don't be afraid to make the lines longer... this felt disjointed - like a long sigh broken into a few terse exhalations.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

18 posted 2005-01-24 10:54 PM

and miss vicky's been busy...

thanks all for reading, and nods to C--I think that's something I started doing to try to control how ya'll read it.

I have issues yanno.

Thanks again you guys, ya'll are great.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.