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Open Poetry #34
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2005-01-09 11:09 PM



Cloth purse,
an aging ignorance.
Leaving the lounge;
your waving,
bartender nodding
an odd remembrance.

The dress,
no longer kind,
as once when you were young
all over.

Feeling picked up,
I hate the men
who before have had you

not bothering first
to speak,
teach,
listen,
some improving.

I hate
watching from behind a future:
unloved,
(pity is pity).

You finally
shuffling alone,

still
sifting for sense

in garbage.
  

© Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
1 posted 2005-01-09 11:14 PM


Oh my gosh...a powerful poem that tears at the heart...Stunning in the vision it portrays and the feelings it gives...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2005-01-09 11:16 PM


yes...a powerful piece
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2005-01-10 07:33 AM


I hate the men
who before have had you


This hits home, in more ways then you know...

If I may add something...treat her with kindness and respect, but above all, with great responsiblity for her heart....even when she makes mistakes

Love to you and hugs for this

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2005-01-10 08:00 AM


Huan Yi
Even the vulture has grace, good write.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2005-01-10 08:15 AM


Enjoyed...James
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2005-01-10 01:53 PM


I hate
watching from behind a future:
unloved,

Such a powerful write... excellent!!

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
7 posted 2007-04-28 02:42 AM


not good. not good. not good at all.
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