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Open Poetry #34
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180 proof (with Cpat Hair)
| Open Poetry #34 |
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180 proof (with Cpat Hair) |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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180 Proof Old Scratch was looking weary when he showed up on my step wearing half the dark matter in the universe scattered like dust on his already dark robe and even for him, a bit pale "No" he sighed as I looked with some surprise at his visage So I invited him in offered him the chair closest to the woodstove wondering if the flat, dry heat would warm his bones Or, if he were even capable of noticing it He settled into the cushions like he weighed more than the rock of age itself and took the three fingers of whiskey I poured And said "I'm thinking of quitting" "Quitting?" I asked as I sipped my own "Seems the world has passed me by" he continued as he put eyes on me that seemed to have a faint blue tinge along the sides of amber " People seem to be immune and at the same time ungrateful " he mumbled " Well." I began as I rose to grab the bottle knowing this time he might need more than three fingers to catch his wind "I'd say people care less about a lot of things." "Not just you" “It’s a more matter of dilution everything is just so washed out right now” “And the notion of you, my old grim friend” “like this”, tipping my glass “is something best taken straight” |
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| © Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
" Well." I began as I rose to grab the bottle knowing this time he might need more than three finger to catch his wind "I'd say people care less about a lot of things." "Not just you" “It’s a more matter of dilution everything is just so washed out right now” “And the notion of you, my old grim friend” “like this”, tipping my glass “is something best taken straight” Two of my favorites together was bound to be awesome writing... and I was correct... well done sirs... very well done.. now....I think I need a good shot of that too.... pass the bottle please?? The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh what a treat! WOW! I'm delighted. magnificent blending of two of my favs. it's a keeper: Mxx and I am haunted |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
lol, you two share the shots well together good drinkin buds |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh geez...make my evening whydon'tya?  Duet again! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Oh my . . . I felt like I was reading one of you . . . this is perfection you guys. (and the message quite clear). This joining of minds really made me smile. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I licked my lips at just thought of you two together. (and ya'll can take that any way you like)  Good thing you put a disclaimer in there to leash my naughty imagination: "“like this”, tipping my glass “is something best taken straight”  and I am behaving horridly for such a cool poem. So ya'll talk to dogs, huh? hmmrph. Well I read to my fish. I'm with Kari, DUET AGAIN!!! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very nice! very! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
180 proof of excellence! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Can't imagine you two at a shooter bar LOL, great job meshing two minds into a seamless poem. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
OMG YES YES YES ahem, ummm, LOL...more please  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
they look good together... (hey, I just came back to glimpse)  These two could do a series. And I think they should. |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
brilliant indeed |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
enjoyed |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
so smooth... I am with Karen, a series please! "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling).. now you all know Ed did the fine tuning on this... and the wrapping up as the ending is so him. No doubt in my mind the man is genious and just doesn't want to admit it to himself.. Thanks Sir, for the opportunity.. and if you toss anything my way, we can try it again... thank you all for the read.. and the kind words.. but truly, most of the credit for pulling this together goes to Ed. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Don't care who put it together it is an eagle feather. Congrads |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
cool, spectacular...more, more, please, more...(screaming while jumping up and down) Awesome art here! Now, straightening my jacket and skirt...gathering dignity and the mask of collectiveness...ahhhhh hem "That was simply marvelous"... could you both write more?????? |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
I'll have to toss my voice in there with the group...encore, gentlemen, encore... **babygirL** **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
lol fantastic er..blend |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Thanks to everyone that took the time. This was, well....comfortable. And thank YOU, Ron for making it so. I'd like to toss you scrap soon, see what you can do with it. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
well.. then by all means.. start tossing.. (chuckling) I'm used to dealing with scrap... since most of my stuff ends up there... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A fine example of 360 proof poetry! Good goin', Guys!   & EA |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
You two are awesome... and this?... is absolutely perfect!... and definitely deserving of another trip to the top... *smile* "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
How did I miss this? *shaking head* I'm grateful it was brought up again... a collaboration of two such talents couldn't help but be fantastic! *S* |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Great write you two! ~Alli~ Happy 2005! |
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