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Open Poetry #34
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2004-12-27 09:45 PM




Outside of the hotel
On the other side of the plate glass
And heavy curtain

Was a city
Creaking and groaning along, as cities do

But, they were inside, insular
And couldn’t hear the concrete crumbling
Or the steel, protesting gravity

The lovemaking had begun hours before

Days, really

There, he was Adam and she, Eve
And, there was no one to tell them
When the lovemaking should end

Or, when it should begin again

But she had somewhere to be now
Home, or at school
He didn’t recall

Only that it was somewhere else
A place he couldn’t be

She had reclaimed her clothing
From the wet tangle of poetry
They had written into the sheets

And as he watched the girl in the mirror
Dressing, smoothing,
Recivilizing herself

He rose up behind her
Whispering his fatuities into her neck
Grasped the bell of her hips

And decided the city outside
Could wait for her a while longer
Under the weight of its pigeons





© Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2004-12-27 09:54 PM


BRAVO!!
damn, what a write
keeper, keeper

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-12-27 10:02 PM


I will never again, consider pigeons a nuisance.



oh you make a woman know the moment.


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2004-12-27 10:02 PM


She had reclaimed her clothing
From the wet tangle of poetry
They had written into the sheets
================================

yes..BRAVO...and damn I wish I had wrote that verse!!
Me thinks you can forget the bowling & decoupage
you are a poet!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2004-12-27 10:03 PM


SEN?
we did it again... lmao  

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2004-12-27 10:07 PM


gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

somethings?

I don't WANT to change.



(make room for a yeti here)

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
6 posted 2004-12-27 10:09 PM


*squish*

LMAO

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-12-27 10:11 PM


Okay.

so you make women know the moment.

*laughing*

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2004-12-28 09:48 AM



  quite a yeti sandwich you seen to have made here ladies...
Ed... love the poem..

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2004-12-28 10:43 AM


"He rose up behind her
Whispering his fatuities into her neck
Grasped the bell of her hips"

and that is all it takes...

the want..

*sigh*

very, very nice Ed.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2004-12-28 10:47 AM


damn....

SIGH....

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2004-12-28 11:02 AM


"He rose up behind her
Whispering his fatuities into her neck
Grasped the bell of her hips

And decided the city outside
Could wait for her a while longer
Under the weight of its pigeons"

Ooooh myyyy...this is...this is poetry at it's finest.
Yes..that moment...ooooh, damn.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2004-12-28 11:53 AM



Let me add the fixin's to the sandwich, girls...

He is both indeed a poet,
and quite the

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2004-12-28 12:27 PM


wranx
Well you got the girls vote. Well done

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2004-12-28 04:32 PM


Oh god, sighhhh, this one just makes my insides scream with so much want..smile,

masterful Bro

i'm keeping it.

mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
15 posted 2004-12-28 06:01 PM


I enjoyed this!

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

16 posted 2004-12-28 06:41 PM


Like it.

I agreed with Alli's words but in ectoplasm not physical.

dave

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
17 posted 2004-12-28 06:51 PM


smiling at "Do not disturb"...

Even a hotel room can truly transform into the most paradisiac island when there is such attunement.

Very beautiful!

Love, Margherita

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
18 posted 2004-12-29 11:16 AM


Oh... you gift me such memories... or are they wishes? *G* Either way... applauding serves two purposes... showing appreciation... and fanning a heated face! *G* Excellent... YES! *S*
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
19 posted 2004-12-29 02:55 PM


absolutely excellent - loved the feel and flow of this - the passion

  Susan

Every action generates a force that returns to us in like kind . . . let us choose compassion and love

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
20 posted 2005-01-19 10:00 PM


Ah, the great stuff I miss by letting life push me away from PIP.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
21 posted 2005-01-20 07:28 AM


gasping at this,
been so little ive read lately...so glad to find you today

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
22 posted 2005-01-25 12:13 PM


*smiling*

I remember these moment(s) verrrrry well.
Absolutely beautiful, Eddie
I could not have asked for a more lovely present than words from your own heart and hand . . .



Susie

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
23 posted 2005-01-26 11:19 PM


WOW oh WOW!

~~*~~
My Shadow is the only one
that walks beside me
~~**~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
24 posted 2005-01-26 11:24 PM


wow.for lack of something more poignant
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