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~eternal child~
Junior Member

since 2004-11-23

Posts 31

0 posted 2004-12-27 04:25 PM

you swayed
with the night
and constellations
would spring from
your hair howling

you consummed me
with your wild scent
loved me without love
with all
your breathing
and freckled lines

you looked for nothing

you were lovely that way
with each day's
passing
with lips rose wet..

where my eyes
would sail terrified

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2004-12-27 06:02 PM

and she left you with this wonder of passion...

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-12-27 06:35 PM

I have to say interesting

Dave

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

3 posted 2004-12-27 09:58 PM

Excellent choice of words and use of pause. Reminds me of youthful Love and the imagery and fears that goes along with it because Love in youth can seem so foreign and at times so terrifying. Enjoyed reading. -Bob

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2004-12-28 07:22 PM

Lovely...James

~K~
Member

since 2004-07-27

Posts 148

5 posted 2005-01-04 08:29 AM

rose wet...mmmm...very nice.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

6 posted 2005-01-04 07:09 PM

Wow...I enjoyed this!

~Alli~

Happy 2005!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2005-01-04 08:20 PM

Yes, what Lighthousebob said

Hope the new year brings you happiness~~

M

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2005-01-04 11:50 PM

wow!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2005-01-04 11:57 PM

Eternal child ~ thers seems to be a bit of the wild child in her!!!

EA

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

10 posted 2005-01-05 05:19 PM

"loved me without love"
...excellent line!

At least she left you with a muse

Great poem.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

11 posted 2005-01-13 11:07 AM

she sings with a voice so familiar
and so wanted..
keep singing please

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

12 posted 2005-01-13 11:09 AM

Yep! Now that's what I'm talkin' bout!

Enjoyed!

JL

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

13 posted 2005-01-14 12:15 PM

uteerly beautiful write

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

14 posted 2005-01-14 12:31 PM

you consummed me
with your wild scent
loved me without love
with all
your breathing
and freckled lines

Whew!! Yep, only he and I loved "with" love.
Hugs,
Ethel

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

15 posted 2005-01-14 12:34 PM

Wow, the impact is evident. Beautiful write, eternal child.

....jo

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