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Open Poetry #34
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Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279


0 posted 2004-12-20 10:32 AM


i am// fifteen floors above
the street the pier
the people still out-
i am on the tile floor and
you are whispering some thing about
my skin my knees and how it is
three am - how this is no place for curling.

you convince me to bed
to the sheets, the tired turning
and i dream of oceans and a
circus of mammals -
i dream of running.
[i wake/oh, i wake sorry.
imagine: sick].

you convince me to the shower
to coffee to food you
hold me side ways while i walk you
let me rest, you listen to me sigh
and i do.
i do in the elevator in the
street, at the table mostly.
i do for days.

i think/ i am in no shape no
mind i am no example
i think no shining star no song. and
you are warming me with kindness
with honesty - you are
warming me besides.

and i see/ that you are the small stones in
side my pockets [worn smooth] the small
sun that stirs me, the sharp winter air
that folds my head, that shakes me
awake - that rounds me to your welcome.


© Copyright 2004 Alicia - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2004-12-20 10:37 AM


oh, this is a heart's song, filled with cold sadness that is yet caressed by loving warmth
hoping that you are OK

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2004-12-20 10:42 AM


the title drew me in, it called with sadness...at least the last line gave an element of hope that you shall not wither, that a buoyancy has begun

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2004-12-20 10:46 AM


despair.... written as I have not ever read it... and hope?
as stones in your pocket....


damn woman... you truly amaze me..and make me want to learn..how to write the way you do..



nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2004-12-20 10:48 AM


I read this after I wrote and posted mine, Alicia...

and I love this ending~~

and i see/ that you are the small stones in
side my pockets [worn smooth] the small
sun that stirs me, the sharp winter air
that folds my head, that shakes me
awake - that rounds me to your welcome.

very very nice

M

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-12-20 01:08 PM


"i think/ i am in no shape no
mind i am no example
i think no shining star no song. and
you are warming me with kindness
with honesty - you are
warming me besides"

pure.  undiluted.  severe.  

true poetry.  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

6 posted 2004-12-20 02:34 PM


Your worry beads feel blessed I'm certain. Enjoyed
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2004-12-20 02:38 PM


Oh man, this aches...and you m'friend.. you collapse me everytime. Sigh.

Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2004-12-20 02:47 PM



Alicia, quite a stirring write...
and yet, [so call me strange]
I saw the love of a pet beseeching you
with tender large brown eyes
to take care of yourself, to put you
ahead of yourself so that you would not,
could not forsake the animal's needs...

as little as they are, considering the tiled floor...

But yes, the image of not a human, but a
creature who would possess morally good and right
human qualities
if he were to be able to walk upright,
but all he could do
was beseech you with his large, liquid eyes...

told you, it's a strange thought...
but it was what I saw...

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 2004-12-20 03:56 PM


excellent.

this is why i read you. no matter the context, no matter the import, no matter the other feelings (or confusions, lol) you engender with your poetry, i inevitably walk away with a sigh of appreciation at some of the finest writing i've been privledged to read.


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-12-20 06:32 PM


nodding yet again with Christopher.

Like a fine meal...


*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
11 posted 2004-12-20 06:33 PM


Wow.

~Alli~

Happy Holidays!

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
12 posted 2004-12-21 12:01 PM


think this needs to go back to the top.
Alicia
Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279

13 posted 2004-12-21 08:27 PM


thanks everyone, for reading and for leaving your kind comments and thoughts behind.
and also, for sharing your own writing in this place.

i'm ok, and kari? i love that you shared what you saw!
i'm so glad that you did. don't ever think yourself strange? silly girl.

thanks for reading. i'm reading too.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
14 posted 2005-01-09 12:53 PM


goddamn...yeah, i don't know what to say after that.


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2005-01-09 01:05 AM


Alicia

You make me feel this, and I am thankful for the comfort of stones.  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
16 posted 2005-01-09 05:30 AM


outstanding!
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