Open Poetry #34 |
Ash Harmonies |
msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
Everything is gold behind my eyes in your presence; I’m stirred with the smell of Kentucky whiskey on your breath, your eyes, the way your fingers charm angels from the strings of an old Gibson. I want you to open me. Taste sweet cloves over pink skin find the place rhythm seeks. Remove the traces of pillowed heat striving to breathe between us Find the core inside me the place that draws emerald from sleep, mint from winter snow, fission from union. You’re lost to me-- and yet your smile moves over me across the length of our room; the stars visit to slump into cotton folds across my shoulders as our colour fills those spaces left to the imagination, covers those parts bruised into ash-harmonies. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Wow this is excellent, 'gold' if you'll allow. This is the kept pillow of a lost lovers' scent and defines longing. And while I'm no one to dissect anothers write (particularly one this good) I did trip over the "our room" and wondered if the distance could have been closed and microcosmed into the present and presence of the daydreamer in another way. Tres Bon! |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
thank you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ma'am... very nicely done... I've read you before I think, though you may have known me under another name... rivergrey... I assure you ma'am.. I ejoyed the read in both places... small world...(chuckling) |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
Yes, it is a small world. Thank you for both reads. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
glad I didn't miss this one |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
"I want you to open me. Taste sweet cloves over pink skin find the place rhythm seeks. Remove the traces of pillowed heat striving to breathe between us" Dang! those words feel good, bouncing back and forth inside my brain, and such a sweet taste as they roll off my tongue... very nice poem, nice indeed ___________ice ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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msflame Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 188 |
well aren't you nice. Thanks so much. |
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