something-or-the-other beautifuls

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2004-12-05 08:37 PM

On dank grey days
all we had was moisture,
and we drank it like
the poison it was.
Soaking words until
they drip-stained
our hearts in saccharin.

Still, I was never weak enough
to hold your hand...
And you, never strong
enough to care.

We lamented walking
through fields of
something-or-the-other beautifuls
while the black and blue of us
clashed a caustic love.

People said we fit,
but it was an ugly
sort of eloquence.
Flaunting each other
like some unhealed wound
until they all forgot
our pain.

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

[This message has been edited by GG (12-06-2004 06:22 AM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2004-12-05 08:39 PM

Wow!

"...the black and blue of us..."

A potent line, in a vivid piece.

Excellent write.
TD

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-12-05 08:52 PM

"People said we fit,
but it was an ugly
sort of eloquence.
Flaunting each other
like some unhealed wound
until they all forgot
our pain."

nodding and knowing

GG you just wrote my heart for me.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2004-12-05 09:38 PM

GG

So well told, this kind of love that hurts.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

4 posted 2004-12-05 09:44 PM

A bittersweet write. Well done.

believe in what your heart feels...

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2004-12-05 09:48 PM

We lamented walking
through fields of
something-or-the-other beautifuls
while the black and blue of us
clashed a caustic love

Alyssa, this is beautiful writing, my friend.
It all really touched my heart. I could feel it.
Heart hugs to you,
Ethel

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

6 posted 2004-12-07 03:32 AM

TD,
Thank you. Was going for a bruised-like effect with the colors. Good to hear from you and glad you enjoyed it so much

Thanks again!

Ser,

I'm not sure I was ever happy with the ending, poetically speaking. Though it did say what I was attempting to convey, I just wasn't sure how well it did. If it meant something to one person though, then I'm happy with it. Yeah... you know. And thank you.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

7 posted 2004-12-07 03:39 AM

Martie,
yeah. Unfortunately most love ends up hurting. Really personally it's about family but I tried to make it sound like it could fit a more broad category of 'loves.' But in the end, love is love, and pain is always the cost to some degree. Thanks for your reply

scorpio,
yeah, as is love. Thank you for the reply

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

8 posted 2004-12-07 03:42 AM

Ethel,
Good to see you here. I've missed reading you. I'm honored you enjoyed this... think I was a bit tired when I wrote it lol. I hope all is well with you...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.