Open Poetry #34 |
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If you're still reading me |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio ![]() |
You brought wine and chocolates the days we met; it ran the gamut from godiva to goobers and the vineyards of italia to the grapes of the golden state, i was never one for labels, though i had you jump through tougher hoops to prove your good intentions, you found me when i was pinafored wearing braids that still hung brown, and i caught you in the butterfly's net where we played on green fields, between black asphalt, in a citykid's suburbia, you caught me later in the future tense, pulling me out of the cyberoceans; i was like an old crackerjack prize that you thought you had discarded, it's been a mixed bag of calendar clicks since we shared smiles and did the wild thing, and i'm singing the low notes here of "i miss you' since this hit a sour note, the day your stubborn pride slammed the door on my "i'm so sorries" (and the fact that you thought i had never loved you) i won't bleed a red sea of roses for you, but just wonder if you still take a peek every now and then, to voyeur in and watch me on this stage of my neverending dramas, and if you're reading me, let me point to poems numbered l0, l5 and 33, and if that's not of you, then who, i say? choose what you may, if time could rewind, i'd want to dropkick, then smother you with girliegirl kisses back into that sandbox again, but i'll play the role of the lady this time, so have it your way, however, i choose to remember, that for our one glorious moment, my dear, i know that you, had loved me, true. [This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (12-03-2004 10:46 AM).] |
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Don_Juan Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252Far from where I am going |
Beautiful and captivating write filled with a little bti of sourness and sorrow. Loved every line. Thanks for the read nice use of muffin |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
wow, Mish, I can picture him going back to read the ones you say were for him and though I don't know him, I hear his sigh |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Owie - this aches - sadness - ![]() Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
oh and so much more than just the sadness.. it's the power of love, laughter, pride and longing... A wonderful, colorful mix of them all.. You tell the story so very, very well. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Ouch! I really hope he goes back and reads the poems that were for him... Sometimes it just never sinks in for them! Right? ![]() Love ya pretty lady~ ~ Let peace begin with me... ~ |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks for reading yep, sometimes they're clueless |
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Ratleader![]()
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sometimes it takes nerves of steel and a face beyond blushing, to write a poem that needs to be written. This is one of those....and I hope it strikes home. I'm gonna bump it, just in case it was missed. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You brought wine and chocolates the days we met; it ran the gamut from godiva to goobers and the vineyards of italia to the grapes of the golden state, i was never one for labels, though i had you jump through tougher hoops to prove your good intentions, you found me when i was pinafored wearing braids that still hung brown, and i caught you in the butterfly's net where we played on green fields, between black asphalt, in a citykid's suburbia, I'm absolutely loving what's coming from your pen of late 'goddess' waiting for more ![]() Maree. P.S sending this fantabulous poem to my library. ![]() into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
you caught me later in the future tense, it's been a mixed bag of calendar clicks two lines that I especially love... a great write Michele... full of emotion ![]() M |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
thanks for reading and relating; and thanks Rat for bumping...and yes, so i've been told....i do have a pair ![]() |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Someday, someone will solve the love mystery, put it in a bottle and sell it. Until then, understanding never comes. Well written. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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vandana![]()
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice write ![]() |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I enjoyed the language, the images the wonder of the "happy" piece of this, then you brought me into your sorrow, too well, I might add...I want to hang onto the idea of your "girlie girl kisses" being savored, favored in the new future Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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bklynboy Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660florida |
Sometimes clueless, sometimes enlightened. Very nice....thoughtful, touching, soul bearing,,,,,,like it all. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
![]() [This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (12-14-2004 06:54 AM).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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*Belabebeautiful*![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
sigh...no matter how much of your poetry I read a small part of my heart is always captivated by your amazing imagery and ability to make words float up to me from the screen...This piece was so pure and bittersweet...I loved it. ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
there are no words that I could write here other then, agreeing with all of the above. Tremendous write |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
yo inky! see I told ya so your armor has soft hinges looks good on ya |
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Daniel Storm Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 91New York |
This is a good read. I felt the emotion in it and wanted to put that happy ending in there for you....(I'm not that far from Brooklyn but I won't crit) |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Michelle, this really touched my heart. I could feel it, lady.....I hope that he will read it and feel it, too. Hugs, Ethel |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
![]() thanks, glad to say he did ![]() |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
"yep, sometimes their clueless." so correct you are dear gal. This was so honest, and so powerful... incredible... |
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