Open Poetry #34 |
lamentation |
Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
It is bright here In the light And I stand Bare and exposed Beneath the harsh cast Of undiffused white Blinded by the glare Of would be perfection There – Not but a dash away A stand of trees With steel feel trunks And limbs of man hands Dappled and beautiful Givers of shade And relief from the heat Soothers of the burn I sweat Tears drops of lamentation Into a pool of could be A river of wanna be Of salted water And if wishes were fishes They would swim that stream And head for the trees And the fresh water there I look at my feet But they are planted in soil And little sprigs Of runners sprout Dependent ‘til they stand on their own And bloom independent Of my care And I must shade them From the glare I wipe my brow Straighten my back This strain I will bear For tender shoot sake But the tree line Reminds me There is shade in the world And dappled leaves Of beauty s.a.t. Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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© Copyright 2004 s.a.t. - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
a beautiful write |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
perhaps a shadow will come from some loving sky and give your cover for the moment lives for your yearn tree to grow strong felt you here babe |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Susan, I felt and envisioned every emotive word! The finest ink flows from your illustrious pen! Love & Light, Linda |
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stevebrklynnyc Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292GA, Camden |
A beautiful poem written with feeling. Enjoyed very much. Steve. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
A river of wanna be Of salted water And if wishes were fishes They would swim that stream i hear your plea and if wishes were fishes o yes if only if only i say that about the leaves if leaves were dollars if wishes were fishes if we could keep the moment if only |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Your warmth - your kind words - PIP is truly a place for a heart to know compassion - thank you all for your encouragement - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Susan When I read your excellent words, I think that is how I should write to get published. Then I let myself roll over me and I know you have such talent and I should try to write like that, but I suppose I just love the fun of being an idiot in my writing and my thoughts and when I write always think of Thomas Hood. Excellent words as always. Dave |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Bravo Susan! Truly touching. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Well done Susan...and may you have a very nice Thanksgiving on this day when we are in a world where it carries such a high price. |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you my friends - and yes - yesterday was a day of thanksgiving - of framily - of joy - hope all of you had a good day too - Dave - you are too kind, really - and I understand your thoughts - for I felt much the same not long ago - admiring others and their style - but then I realized, it is our own voices we must speak - and yours is quirky fun - that is a good thing Relish your voice - Hugs all - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Lovely write... ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
NIce...James |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Excellent write. I loved it. hugs, Marti A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"But the tree line Reminds me There is shade in the world And dappled leaves Of beauty" yes.... enjoyed this |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Susan, this is fantastic! Hope you're well. ....jo |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you my friends - most kindly - And Jo - so good to see your name - hope you drop in more often - miss you Hugs all - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Susan Dappled light is my favorite! I enjoyed the uplifting from this poem. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Touching, beautiful write! I enjoyed the read very much. Eric Ain't doin nothin at all |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
A mixture of reality and illusion...I was going to say...but wait...Is there really a difference? A poets metaphors (illusions) can take a reader on journeys, can hold their minds hand, and lead them through the crack between those two worlds...Metaphors have always made me see the "real" world more clear... Well done, Susan...thank you for holding my minds-hand, and the journey. __________ice/ford ><> |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you my friends - for your kindness - Ford - a good friend of mine and I were just having the conversation about what is a real moment and what is not - and that what is thought of as real is not the reality, but the moments that carry the dream like quality that are our true selves and therefore the most real - make sense? Thank you for your comments, I enjoyed them- Hugs all - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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