Open Poetry #34 |
Cold Spaghetti |
Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
His prefect life with all needs met (Minus one, but positive nine) Fills him to the moment Of half past five With no one home, A working wife. In doubt, he awaits a change of pace … .-.. --- .-- (slooowwww the pace…) Where her feet would stop dead And her vision would wake Unto tender eyes, their skies stolen slate; (If only she saw him, he could exult her...) But no one home, Not his working wife Half past six turns half past seven Laundry done, socks are mended; Again, Spaghetti alone. Should he isolate a strand in play, With its slimy line, create woman? Should hungry man deny? [This message has been edited by Dautz Write (11-18-2004 07:57 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2004 Dautz Write - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) the pathos and humor are appreciated here... interesting write..and perspective |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
There's nothing on God's green earth but perspective! Gotta play with it. Your response is most welcome. Dautz Write... |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I find this sad - yet so well displayed by your words - lonliness is a cold dinner left in wait - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Susan, Perhaps rather sad, but dinner's how you make it. Dautz... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Dautz...I didn't get a chance to welcome you to Passions. Welcome! I like cold spaghetti. |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Thanks for the welcome, Martie. I appreciate. Dautz... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, I enjoyed this playful plate of spaghetti. I used to play with the meatballs, until I became a vegetarian. But as I said before, enjoy the interactions within these poetic walls, I'm sure you will have a good audience, with your fine sense of humor. |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
Midnitesun, Thanks again for your welcoming response. Meatballs? That brings me back to a song we sang as kids. On top of Spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball and I don't remember the rest--please--- Fill in the blanks and tell me the words... I lost my poor meatballs, all covered with cheese! Dautz |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
On top of old smokey all covered in cheese I lost my poor meatball cause somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table on to floor Its all I can remember of the song. Loved the poem and welcome to Passions. :-) Within this heart you'll find love |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
enjoyed this write, WELCOME to PIP Your going to meet some very interesting and creative artists in here...your in for a treat! Thanks a bunch for reading my poem and commenting looking forward to reading more of you thank you for sharing. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
On top of spaghetti, All covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, When somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table, And onto the floor, And then my poor meatball, Rolled out of the door. It rolled in the garden, And under a bush, And then my poor meatball, Was nothing but mush. The mush it was tasty, As tasty could be, And then the next summer, It grew to a tree. The tree was all covered, All covered with moss, And on it grew meatballs, And tomato sauce. So if you eat meatballs, All covered with cheese, Hold onto your meatballs, Lest somebody sneese. ~*~ |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
James Michael, Lee J.- Thanks for your welcoming responses. .:.Dautz.:. froggy and Sunshine - Thanks for helping out with the lyrics. Can you guess what song is going to be running through my head throughout the night? |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
The song running your mind I'd guess would be On Top Of Spaghetti. :-) Rereading this still makes me giggle. :-) |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
ROTFLMAO I just had to come back to this, and say, it would qualify as an entry in my Spaghetti challenge. (see the poetry challenge forum) How funny, and Sunshine? those were almost the same exact lyrics I remember singing! My mom hated that song. LOL |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
sad |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
this is so well done, the life it depicts speaks so clearly of 'alone' but not meant to be and even though the poem is intrinsically sad, I have to chuckle@cpat's chuckle... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Welcome to Pips! I enjoyed this ... attracted always by Spaghetti!! Well, nine out of ten is a good average! But the tenth in your case is so important! Realism shared in a powerful way. Love, Margherita ps the meatball song is so funny! |
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Dautz Write Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96 |
froggy, midnitesun, miscellania, jellybeans, and Margherita, Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it. dautz... |
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