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Open Poetry #34

ready for more

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2005-02-04 12:30 PM

ready for more

my fingernails have
nearly
grown now
it should be time
time
for more
but
it is not

my weight
returning
too
other parts of
me
of me
filled
again and

my
mind
no longer
wanders in
every
wanders in
any
wind

I rise like
a stubborn
soldier
who won’t
stay down
ready
somehow

yes
it should be
time
for more
for
more but
not

I miss it

~~J

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2005-02-04 01:16 PM

yes
it should be
time
for more
for
more but
not

I miss it

This is wonderful... in the mind's verse, you don't just say it's wandering... you show the wander. *S* And the ways you measure time's passing in little ways that mean so much... absolutely delightful! *S*

wandering glider
Senior Member

since 2001-04-04

Posts 501
aloft

2 posted 2005-02-04 04:46 PM

Interesting and curious piece.

Enjoyed.

glider

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2005-02-04 06:09 PM

yes, you do feel the wandering

M

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

4 posted 2005-02-04 07:01 PM

Enjoyed.

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000* Journal!

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

5 posted 2005-02-04 10:16 PM

This is very good;
with its own distinct voice;
like an other speaking.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2005-02-05 12:58 PM

Jamie

I think I'm ready for more too!

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

7 posted 2005-02-05 01:34 AM

my
mind
no longer
wanders in
every
wanders in
any
wind

I like the thought you put into this. It has the perfect sounds, all so calming. Yet in contrast, your repetition of the meandering words seems to indicate "restlessness". I believe "showing contrast" is one of your trademarks. I truly enjoy your thinking.
misc'e

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