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Open Poetry #33
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A Maze upon a Box (Part II)
| Open Poetry #33 |
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A Maze upon a Box (Part II) |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
If you've read Part I, you might want to skip on down to Part II to economize time. I think it will still work... PART I Beautiful spinster lay to rest In chilled feather bed; Her hands caress a cardboard jewelry box. White on black or black on white; It penned of him Of his black ink mazes: “YOU” start here Go thin walls from arrow’s point Be careful the way you turn. Remember where you’ve been” The varied lines their width and shape Thinning walls to pinhole gates only a clever eye could make Or follow. She’d had her age of mazes And determined his not to try, Had never opened the box, But figured she should before she'd die. Her fingers momentarily twiddled A circle of gold mohair Snaked along old finger Shaky palms unhinged the lid, Then she began to giggle. Underneath, another maze he’d hid. With such intrique she wondered Where for all these years he’d been. With this maze he versed: "Through thin walls from an arrow’s point Be careful the way you turn, I’ll go with you every bit the end, But for you, I’ll set you free. Remember where we’ve been” In the box, browned four leaf clover Resting upon soft cotton; Familiar to smiling eyes of once Unready lover Part II Through the night The box of mazes She held within her light. Four leaf clover Minding over To dreams of brighter might. Then she awakened from feathers wrinkled nest, Strolled to parlor turned east leaving sallowed west. On yellowed parchment from desk she wrote "I’m remembering where I’ve been And still feel arrow’s point. Shall again we meet in field of clover Though now, justa “little,” just a tad bit older?" Addressed and stamped. But Something compelled her To envelope it with black maze “This is where you start This is where you end.” Letter sent, returned Addressee Unknown... |
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| © Copyright 2004 Cathy Farmer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
AW! guess you cannot end what didn't begin? a poignant write |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
On yellowed parchment from desk she wrote "I’m remembering where I’ve been And still feel arrow’s point. Shall again we meet in field of clover Though now, justa “little,” A tad bit older?" Addressed and stamped. But Something compelled her To envelope it with black maze “This is where you start This is where you end.” Letter sent, returned Addressee Unknown... ~*~ I would give my favorite fountain pen to have you sitting across from me over coffee, that we might share some thoughts, and I've a place to take you, where this very desk sits... and the yellow parchment is sitting there, waxed seal broken... the ribbon still holding this, and all of the other letters... you travel the plains well, m'friend... it's a pleasure having you on these journeys.... |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
OK,Midnitesun and Sunshine, you've got me! I had originally planned a happy ending but thought it a little sappy. I'll try again to post an "alternative ending?" miscellanea |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I think the ending is fine, dear. All of life is not pleasant, and sometimes we must face that reality, and leave a little path to show that we have traveled that road, too...  |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Shucks,Sunshine, This is just fiction, and I'm getting worked up over the ending? Think if it were real? Oh, the decisions people have in life to make! Perhaps I'll personify a couple of worms instead of people next time--they'd be a little less easy to relate to! Now that I've opened this can of worms... (If I was going to write a happy ending, I would simply remove the last two verses.) misc'e |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
miscellanea Well done, this happens to everyone in some form or shape, enjoyed. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Sy, I suppose you're right, but I feel so mean giving it a sad ending, leaving a bitter taste... misc'e |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
you know I like sad stuff, so I say leave the ending |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
What a beautiful flow of words! Eric |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Brava! Brava, Cathy. Very pretty poem. The old song "Crimson & Clover" came back to memory as I read it again. ....jo |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
passing shadows, Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I think I'll leave it this way. If anyone wants they can just delete the last two verses for a happier ending. Thanks again. misc'e Eric, So nice of you to say so! It is you who has the beautiful flow of words! misc'e iliana, You're right! That song does come to mind! Now I'll be humming it all night! Glad you like it--I took out some of the more obvious bumps in the rhythym after we spoke. It's funny how they are so easily overlooked when so close to the actual writing! Thanks for your constructive help. LOve ya, Sis. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I've read this over several times, and it is so loving and sadly beautiful. The sentiment goes far beyond the heart. Such a gentle and tender write, miscellanea~ Thank you for this~ |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Bluesy, Thank you, dear Lady. This is fiction, mostly... Take care. I've been reading yours, too. I don't know if I've commented on all of it, but I feel yours very deeply as well. Thanks, Bluesy. sadelite [This message has been edited by miscellanea (08-04-2004 03:18 AM).] |
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