repost of set me free - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #33

repost of set me free

Foxyoasis
Senior Member

since 2003-06-10

Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla

0 posted 2004-07-29 06:33 AM

no one commented! i want feed back:P

Held you in my arms at nite
I kissed you ever so sweetly
in the warm gental breeze of
your ora around my soul

I told you things no one
has never known,you knew
me before you ever met me.

Your lips are like soft petals
on a red rose,your eyes
sweet clear with comppasion.

My love for you just grows
I go out try to forget
but in the end I just come
home and it's you I miss.

I can not escape you
your captivation over
me. Please just set me
free,for I can not take
this hurt any longer.

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....

Jeffrey Carter

Member Elite

since 2000-04-08

Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!

1 posted 2004-07-29 06:05 PM

Man oh man do I know this feeling? Very well written!

As far as critiquing this, all I saw were the mispelled words, the flow and rhythym was great!

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

2 posted 2004-07-29 06:51 PM

Wonderful poem. But that last stanza says it all.

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”

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