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Open Poetry #33

Misery and Christianity

rainydaymusic
Junior Member

since 2004-01-14

Posts 26

0 posted 2004-07-28 11:01 PM

Please help me out with some opinions/criticism, as I am about to send this to someone special to me.

MISERY AND CHRISTIANITY

Misery and Christianity,
working together side by side,
one of them, a captivating blonde
and the other one, an angry brunette.

I like them both so
I cannot choose, so
strangely juxtaposed,
like I remember

across the street
from my New York hotel,
l could buy milkshakes and porn
a choice of the sweet and salty.

Broken
Member

since 2000-03-12

Posts 271
The woods

1 posted 2004-07-29 01:01 AM

I like it, especially these two lines, and how THEM work together:

"I like them both so
I cannot choose, so"

But I thought it should be more, a bit longer maybe?

~Broken~

"Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away."

Peter Steele

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

2 posted 2004-07-29 01:15 AM

I liked it. ......jo

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