Open Poetry #33 |
off-guard |
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
we fell into a silence, coping with the few minutes of prolonged presence together since you always, always got off at the previous station you watched me make a mental note to upsize our small-talk tank with painfully contrived topics I tried in vain to penetrate your fortress face we both waited too long for the rumbling train to stop gloating at our apparent intimacy |
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© Copyright 2004 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good write here...and good to see you glad you put your picture up |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Well penned, enjoyed. Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
exceptionally nice read...not to mention, wise and emotionally charged |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ah, those awkward silences can take up such precious time! Great write here. Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Kaile, you've got me wanting more to follow this intriguing write. Well done.......jo |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Powerfully written...I love the vision you opened up with your words... |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
You've done well in describing the scenario. There's nothing worse than awkward silences, where you could actually feel the minutes ticking by. Not mentioning how stiff your face gets, juz cuz you've gotta maintain that polite smile, with an interested face... _,,,^.^,,,_ Florence |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
enjoyed. Will you continue the story? "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
well done kaile, much enjoyed. |
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