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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2004-07-24 12:59 PM

If I trust in you
will you fail me now?
Will you turn on me
as others have done?

Not a night goes by
when I don't watch shadows,
when the quiet sounds
are the ones that count.

I don't ask often
but I ask a lot,
and I never will ask twice;
I just walk away,
no I won't explain,
it's a tired refrain,
but I'm only old
because I'm too mean for change.

If I trust in you
will you fail me now?
Will you turn on me
as others have done?

In a dream last night,
I looked down at my hand
so young again,
in the memory,
washed in bloody rivulets of rain
still clutching,
still clutching
the long quick killing blade,
the blade that never failed.

I don't ask often
but I ask a lot,
and I never will ask twice;
I just walk away,
no I won't explain.

I'm no Lady Macbeth
my hands wash clean,
but the scene
remains in the prop room
of dreams.

Not a night goes by
when I don't watch shadows,
when the quiet sounds
are the ones that count.

It is fatigue I think
that prompts the choice,
to put briefly to rest
other memories,
like the reedy voices shrill,
thinly protesting
at the point of doom.

It's a tired refrain,
when I'm left to assume
I'm only old
because I'm too mean for change.

©2004 by icebox

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-07-24 01:03 PM

Shoot...
I'd disagree with you...

but I wouldn't want
you to turn mean
on me...

I curtsey, Sir.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2004-07-24 02:13 PM

sometimes mean-ness has its benefits

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

3 posted 2004-07-24 02:58 PM

"Not a night goes by
when I don't watch shadows,
when the quiet sounds
are the ones that count."

I can relate to this. Change? Perhaps the left over bit after paying or doing "whatever" like our memories. The other kind of change requires bravery not meanness so I think this needs another read ... in the quiet times.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2004-07-24 03:11 PM

"I don't ask often
but I ask a lot,
and I never will ask twice;
I just walk away,
no I won't explain,
it's a tired refrain,
but I'm only old
because I'm too mean for change.

If I trust in you
will you fail me now?
Will you turn on me
as others have done?"

Although I think this is a very personal poem, I think so many can identify with these lines above. I have tremendous respect for the depth and purity of your writing; and even if it does hide a bit in the shadows, the light still beams through. *hugs*.....jo

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2004-07-24 04:13 PM

"I have tremendous respect for the depth and purity of your writing; and even if it does hide a bit in the shadows, the light still beams through." ~ jo (iliana)

I hope jo doesn't mind me pasting her response in my reply! ~ but she eloquently expressed exactly what I feel as well!

EA

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2004-07-24 04:27 PM

"too mean to change"

*chuckle*

and yep, I've been accused of that myself. (Have you tried cutting back on the caffeine?)

Honestly, sometimes I'm convinced you're me.

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

7 posted 2004-07-24 08:21 PM

Turning on a friend is a good way to ensure that the friend won't turn on you, but it's a lonely business, isn't it.

~~J

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2004-07-24 08:31 PM

I love Icy words.

and I don't care if you're too mean...

(cause I know the truth)...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-07-24 09:18 PM

Susan...ssshhhhhh...

yer gonna blow his "cover"!

to ice & susan

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

10 posted 2004-07-25 02:16 AM

too mean for change? Where do I find that vitamin? I could use a little of mean now and then!! Enjoyed this very much
misc'e

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

11 posted 2004-07-25 08:26 PM

icebox

"If I trust in you
will you fail me now?"

When I was a young teenager, I played a game with a few friends. In it you stood in front of your friend facing away, and let your body fall back. The friend was supposed to catch you...and by falling, you were showing how much you trusted your friend. We would take turns doing this. Of course there were other things, like weight and timing, which affected the outcome. The hardest part was being able to let go, and fall, and if the friend somehow wasn't able to hold you, being able to try again until it worked. After you've hit the ground with your dead weight, trust is not easy to give again.

Failing in this is usually not a purposefull thing...just a human thing.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

12 posted 2004-07-25 08:28 PM

serenity steps in to add--

"Martie is a Goddess."

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