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Open Poetry #33
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emoceantics
| Open Poetry #33 |
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emoceantics |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Time is bothering these days: ticking tocking maddening, "like sands within the hourglass" and shells of lives upon the beach and yearning foaming hungering tearing at this all of me watch the waves recede and grin tan me in the love and wave as the sun concedes and then tell the gods that beg I gave at the office as I play... tell them all I said "forgave." I wink-- (it was a lie) I stayed. but god will greet me anyway-- (won't he? won't she?) pronouns lie I've a toe in surf... I thought: "God will greet me anyway" I drag the tide and pull the sway of the ocean into us-- a sea of proof I prayed... and thus-- I created too... [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (07-24-2004 05:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"I gave at the office" If only that worked...chunks of me wouldn't be missing..  "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"I drag the tide and pull the sway of the ocean into us-- a sea of proof I prayed... and thus-- I created too..." And you just did it again, Karen! And what a creation this was -- oustanding. Hope you are doing well, lady. .......*hugs*....jo |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
oh my *shaking head* what it would be like to be you  The good in you far outweighs anything else and damn...when you are good...you are GREAT. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I drag the tide and pull the sway of the ocean into us--" ~ It is lines like these that make me appreciate your talent even more!  EA |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, You are a bright candle on Gods birthday cake. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"I drag the tide and pull the sway of the ocean into us-- a sea of proof I prayed... and thus-- I created too..." Shaking my head in awe here Ser., What an amazing write... from a very talented writer. Love ya lady~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
"like sands within the hourglass" and shells of lives upon the beach and yearning foaming hungering tearing at this all of me watch the waves recede and grin tan me in the love and wave as the sun concedes and then tell the gods that beg ====================== well ya had me from the title on.  *smiling at Sys reply* and saying amen to that.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
One acronym... IWIHWT |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"I drag the tide and pull the sway of the ocean into us--" this is so completely beautiful.... I LOVED this part especially |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Trying to choose my favourite line or lines, is an impossible task. So, I will just KEEP this jewel!! Hugs to you, Chrislane Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. Hans Christian Anderson |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
You stir the soul. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well...just keep dragging that toe and you never know you might just get somewhere in the process. See, if you dig deep enough it makes a big hole anyway doesn't it, and you can throw all the hurt in that big hole, cover it, bury it, and skip away whistling a tune. (wishful thinking) |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"but god will greet me anyway--" I have no doubt she will. *smile* |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gotta agree with everyone here... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you all for reading. I'm kind of happy with this one myself, but only because my daughter expressed relief that she understood it. "Are you sure?" I asked her wickedly. (I should leave well enough alone sometimes, huh?)  Thanks all for the encouragement. Blessings from whatever God/dess of your understanding! |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
this is very cool...I love to link the ocean with emotion. You did it well. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
ummmm! Great piece, Serenity. You got my toes wet on this one... misc'e |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I absolutely love this, i don't know how i missed it. It crashed over me again and again as i read, like waves that pick up the sand. it's a  Well I see you doing... What I try to do for me With the words from a poet... And a voice from a choir And a melody... nothing else matters ~Stevie Nicks |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
What an amazing keeper of a poem! It was touching and intriguing...forcing some of my own introspection...what of my waves...my tide...my beach. You got me thinking. Why'd you have to do that now? I was getting tired! This poem left a mark. I appreciate the sweet opportunity to read and suck it all in while the waves take me out of here. Warm wishes to you, Kevin |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Serenity I like how this poem tapers, following the intensity of thought...connecting the readers brain very well by its shape, with the emotions emitted by its content... like a concrete poem does. enjoyed reading it... --------------ice ><> Come read to me some poem, |
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