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Open Poetry #33
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Among us
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Among us |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL 
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forgive my mood...I hate this poem. Among us There are the “among…us” crippled walking scars healed without to within abscesses fever hot torch bearers hungry opened mouths nonsense talking holding at a distance hate blinded love blades thrust between the ticks of night and I count each one. Robert |
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| © Copyright 2004 RobertB - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
forgive my mood... in reading this  M |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
forgive you? for what ? writing so deeply profound that you made me catch my breath.. or feel that lump one gets in their throat when they're holding back tears... or forgive you.. for putting together words, in the only way a poet can ? or how about.. forgive you.. for bringing out the feeling. that makes me just want to give you a gentle hug .. and not say anything. no. i won't forgive you, not for any of that. *soft smile* much admiration.. me "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Robert, I have to agree with the ladies. This poem carries a lot within it... written in such a way that is very poetic, yet saying so much. |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
ohh...thank you all and magnus, if my mood were a bit brighter, I would have loved your poem. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
You have amazing talent poet sir. Well done indeed. Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Robert - there is nothing to forgive. Just thanks for we the reader to give to you. Amazing way you join your thoughts together....amazing. hugs, Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sometimes we have to hate the truth that hurts us... it is our only shield, after all... |
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lgina Member
since 2004-07-20
Posts 52 |
Robert, There is nothing to forgive. All our moods are within the reach of hurt. Great write. Thanks |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
I just don't like to purge here....but then poetry is purging I guess. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Please forgive me for not using my own words, but please read those of Snow's!  EA |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Robert, You wrote it in such a way to grab the readers' emotions. What's there to be sorry about? Enjoyed. misc'e |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I agree with all said above. And writing is a catharsis, a cleansing. In sharing our moods, whatever they be, we help to increase other's understandings of the workings of the human soul. This was very well penned. Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
Thank you for such encouragement. I still don't like this poem though! :-p |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know what you mean...I don't like the one I wrote called "Honestly"...but hey, it's the way I felt and alot of people commented on it...who knows? we write...we don't always like what we write, but mood changes |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
IF I had the space to put all of the wadded up pages....you would be amazed the heighth and depth of the poems that I didn't like either....sometimes, those are the ones that say a lot about us, our feelings, and possibly at times just things we don't want to deal with or face... Permission granted to hate the thing as long as you wish....while we will all grow from it... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Well I know you ask to critique the poetry and not the poet, but in this instance the poet's comment is so endearing I can't help it.  A succint and well written last line makes all the difference. Don't be so hard on yourself, you made it work. (and chuckling here, if it weren't for Pip, all of my poetry would be destroyed due to my own "editorial impulses" of deletion. In the days of paper, tho, they did make a lovely fire.) Hugs you, and write on! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Let me count the poems I wrote, placed them here without a note whether I liked, or whether I panned, still, the purge saw tears that ran...  we won't always like our own, RobertB |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
ohhh what can I say but that the mood is lifting already. you guys are alright. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I count each one, too, and I probably shouldn't. As for your mood or the forgiveness.....to me, it really isn't poetry if it isn't a part of the person. I agree, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I have my favorites of my own, also, and some that I just think are cr.p (many of them) -- much of the time, what I think stinks, others love. .....jo |
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