Of Flowers, Sand And Moonlight . . . Pantoum

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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2004-07-20 09:20 AM

Of Flowers, Sand And Moonlight

I dreamed a place of flowers,
a flowering place of dreams,
in peach-blossomed moonlight
I would never see.

A flowering place of dreams,
the intimate touch of grass.
I would never see
the sand completing its journey.

The intimate touch of grass
singing along my skin;
the sand completing its journey,
made whole by endless breaking.

Singing along my skin,
the echo voice of waves
made whole by endless breaking
and the whispering spirits.

The echo voice of waves
in peach blossomed moonlight
and the whispering spirits....
I dreamed a place of flowers.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-07-20 09:21 AM

The intimate touch of grass
singing along my skin;
Ohhhh Ed, the entire poem was mezmorizing but these two lines were the greatest for me...lovely

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

2 posted 2004-07-20 09:22 AM

I would like a ticket please...one way...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2004-07-20 09:23 AM

The echo voice of waves
in peach blossomed moonlight
and the whispering spirits....
I dreamed a place of flowers.

~*~

Smiling...twice now.

Going for a third?

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2004-07-20 10:35 AM

Ed

This form is perfect for the beauty of this poem. Wonderfully done!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-07-20 12:16 PM

beautiful

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

6 posted 2004-07-20 02:04 PM

Yes, oh please ....yes
this is beautiful

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2004-07-20 05:23 PM

Singing along my skin,
the echo voice of waves
made whole by endless breaking
and the whispering spirits.

The echo voice of waves
in peach blossomed moonlight
and the whispering spirits....
I dreamed a place of flowers.

It just doesn't get any lovelier than this! *S* You've proven once again that you're master of any format!!

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

8 posted 2004-07-20 07:44 PM

Most lovely, soft and soothing.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2004-07-20 07:52 PM

Very good Ed! A Pantoum is not an easy form to master, and you have done this very well! Very good indeed.....

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

10 posted 2004-07-20 08:21 PM

Ratleader,

this is lovely and just a bit sad.

Corinne

Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

11 posted 2004-07-21 03:07 AM

I have never tried this form but you seem to have a good handle on it

enjoyed the read

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

12 posted 2004-07-23 01:10 AM

Nice writing...James

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