Open Poetry #33 |
Black Oak Concerto in Minor Chords |
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Black this the furrowed bark of night when against the grain of passing sand that drops from one half to the other marking in heaps the lost measured in shadow the remaining till I am raw in imagining I hear each tick in time as minor chords of fugue and my thoughts turn to notes, scales played on skin bared shoulder or back traced along the spine two fingered melody of such dark nights almost forgotten now till night wood such as this reminds me even so long ago constructed can shine in little light if polished with soft play of cotton discarded to lie heaped against floor a darker ghost of grey against the charcoal lines left along the edge of bed where roots twine in gritty ticking tock of time and we wince our denial of the wrong turn backs to backs seeking dreams of green tell me was there once a spring and summer we did not hide? Or do I remember Lies? |
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© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, An interesting write, enjoyed the ead. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Always reaching... |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Cpat -- there is so much to this poem. Really enjoyed pondering. On one level it seemed like it was about a relationship; on another it seemed like it was about the changing of an oak to a piece of polished furniture holding much memory within its reflection. At any rate, I really enjoyed it. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"and my thoughts turn to notes, scales played on skin bared shoulder or back traced along the spine two fingered melody of such dark nights almost forgotten now" I find a verse like this and think "that's what I was trying to say". You write as I aspire to bud. Guess I'll keep tryin'... Princess... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Every ounce of this leading to the following painful question, but surely the answer must be "Yes!" Certainly, it had to have been so, otherwise the question would not hold so much agony. Good to read you again, Cpat. and we wince our denial of the wrong turn backs to backs seeking dreams of green tell me was there once a spring and summer we did not hide? Or do I remember Lies? Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
yes....... |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I think you remember truth, and more accurately than the heart can stand. That's how it is with poetry, and with poets. Many dimensions in this I understand too, having walked there. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"marking in heaps the lost measured in shadow the remaining" Somedays it seems to always measure out that way, and no one could have said it better. "and we wince our denial of the wrong turn backs to backs seeking dreams of green tell me was there once a spring and summer we did not hide? Or do I remember Lies?" Lies make us forget the spring and summer. Again, you captured the essense of feeling let down, used, and the guilt for our own part. No one writes it like you. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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IndigoEve Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279Etched in the illusion of time |
Positively library material. If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
too many favorite lines to quote here |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed....James |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Okay, I came back to read this again (still pondering) -- I just have to say -- the analogy was great! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
and we wince our denial of the wrong turn backs to backs ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Such a sad thing, but not necessarily a bad thing if we're able to confront the truth and slay our dragons. Oh listen to me, cough cough!!! You never, ever disappoint and always leave a little gem to take with me. Thank you for that, Cpat~ |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Not lies but polished truth from the heart of oak. Much enjoyed Ron. believe in what your heart feels... |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Dearest C....your woodwinds are composed with forever notes. Even the strings that attach us are necessary to feel complete...as even complete has expertly placed moments of grinding silence and truth. These are the thoughts your verse provokes in me. Love, Reg |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Such wonderful phrasing. Now this has me thinking. Good to read you. KJ Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ron, Pretty dad-gummed bleak portrait you paint here. Dark and deep and glum and spooky. Me likes! Corinne |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
till night wood such as this reminds me even so long ago constructed can shine in little light if polished with soft play of cotton discarded to lie heaped against floor a darker ghost of grey against the charcoal lines left along the edge of bed where roots twine in gritty ticking tock of time Wow I find much passion in your voice...much similarity in awareness, given time...we will rock...and roots will indeed twine! Temendous writing! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thanks all... for the read, and the nice words.. they are always appreciated |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
Far Out! this is awesome Ron *kiss on each cheek* youre an artist |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
such kisses... make me blush.. and forget how old I am..lol... kind words my friend.. thank you.. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Ditto all the above and then some, Captain. Haven't missed one of your works yet. ~tier |
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