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Open Poetry #33
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chiquita promontory
| Open Poetry #33 |
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chiquita promontory |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast 
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I always wanted to be the smith and wesson 357 by eight inch maybe nine pressed against the back of the bad guy at the seven eleven during a holdup on a sunday night caught on video tape for the jurors to see later when they say guilty and laugh at how silly he was for falling for the top banana or perhaps the other kind sinfully peeled back and artfully exposed on purpose between firm round temptations to the tongue of some vixen with glassy eyes and drooling lips begging for the cream to be smeared on her cheeks and unafraid to go public with her craving even though the calories quoted by baskin robbins are more than her salary or measurements combined with her weight and IQ times nine but instead I find my manly macho mashed and drizzled damply down the kirk douglas dimple chin of some poopsmell antic with baby skin wrapper in toothless gobble then show it again sam'd to the window cookie and the high chair tray with some other fluid that is sticky stink only babies can make to mark their turf with glisten prints like a snail with racing slicks chiquita never told me that gerber means hell __________ Dark |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
 so much to absorb~~~M |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Dark Some excellent phrasings, good write. |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
D: your offerings are always so.... appealing! thanks a bunch, ~K~ |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
dreams do come true.... excellent excellent! |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I'm not very good at this critique thingy without fearing that I sound lame ..but I'm awed by the flow of you words...each time I read them... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms nudethinking..wink just a study in nanners...thanks for your lady eyes ___________ Sir Sy...humble thanks my friend.......fun to watch folks at the banana split line sometimes _____________ MS Kahlil, bless you for your review of my 8 or 9 lines, thanks to you __________ Leej Ms, thanks to you for putting up with the sticky mess I made here _____________ Ceinwyn, ah shucks, relax and let your thoughts out to play...you smile me with your review and I thank you for that. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
a master wordsmith, some of the best wiritng i've read onsite or in print |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
DS Very clever writing! |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Hehe...Dirty Harry at the Baskin Robbins. What's your favorite flavor D? You're so genuine. Thanks for making me grab for the Mayfield and stay at homestyle. Love, Reg |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Heh heh..well done Dark. Enjoyed watching. Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I had to grin when reading this-so much creativity in thought and word! Wow! misc'e |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, so funny on so many levels.  |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
The creativity behind this is fantabulous! What one can do with a banana. May I share it with some friends of mine? I'm a 357 2" 686 kind of girl myself, preferred, though I often visit the dark side with a Glock 17 9mm. Much enjoyed -- Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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