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Open Poetry #33
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Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

0 posted 2004-10-17 12:34 PM


Words, falling under foot,
tamped down for good measure,  
shouldn't have been said again

No form, flow, curling waves
nor bend of sweeping branch-
better not to say anything than
a novella of repetitious nothing

My metaphor doesn't hit its mark,
the ellipsis, overused in lazy abandon,
needs an extention on the five minute time-out rule,
and the curve of the rainbow should
experience the straight and narrow
in spite of its wit
for no reason other than to laugh
at itself

only I'm not laughing.


© Copyright 2004 Dorene M. Harris - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2004-10-17 01:03 PM



Been awhile since I have read you, but that is my fault for being gone so long. The following lines almost makes me want to write in black and white for fear of exposing too much of myself otherwise.
******************

My metaphor doesn't hit its mark,
the ellipsis, overused in lazy abandon,
needs an extention on the five minute time-out rule,
and the curve of the rainbow should
experience the straight and narrow
in spite of its wit
**************

Hits hard this one does.  So very nice to read one of yours and much enjoyed.


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2004-10-17 01:04 PM


Excellent chanson excellent, and exactly why i haven't picked up my pen in ages
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2004-10-17 01:09 PM


Chanson,
You know what they say.
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Cry and you cry alone.
Beautiful write.

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
4 posted 2004-10-17 01:32 PM


Thanks kindly to all for your remarks and time.


(No apologies are neccessary as I too have been absent for a long time. Nor have I picked up a pen to write, as this is an oldie.)

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

5 posted 2004-10-17 01:42 PM


Trampled
Forgotten
wasted
clinging to no tide
just thrown
sweeping clear
on a returning tide
to pattern dreams, ideas, futility, failure

Dave

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
6 posted 2004-10-17 01:45 PM


Fresh out of ink and quill but maybe these will help out and not as tempermental as a pen.  In other words, PLEASE write.  


Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
7 posted 2004-10-17 05:28 PM


Dave, thank you for your poetic contribution. Much appreciated.

Mark, you are too kind! But I am certain my painting skills are even worse than my writing skills! What to do What to do.... *s

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2004-10-17 08:04 PM


I enjoyed this so much, and want you to know your words are not lost in the shuffle. They are a wonderful treasury of honest feelings, which means they are also a beautiful bouquet. Thank you, for sharing.

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
9 posted 2004-10-18 05:09 PM


Midnitesun, what a nice thing to say! Thank you *s
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-11-05 09:40 AM


my vow as a poet is to come here every day and read, no matter if I read one or a hundred

the inspiration to write comes when it's ready

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