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Open Poetry #33
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Saturn
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Saturn |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
Saturn Hey interstellar baby so how's the weather on Saturn? 'Cause I've nothing to do today but let the pages turn, turn, turn To walk out the door some Sunday to be standing, sighing, feeling the rain as the singer sings his rhyme but I know this rock feels the pain and this island cries all the time In the dim corner where nobody can see things that bring the cold in from the storm pulling me over the green curl of the sea to be washed up on your desolate shore and tied to the mast calling out for you to tell me it's not all over now, baby blue Well just don't burn up on re-entry I'll need my reservations for Saturn and my favorite coat of the century I wear whenever I need to learn to step between the raindrops and step over the wet cement cracks till I'm conquered at the bus stop till I haven't broken my mother's back I need to calculate my tragectory I'll hit the atmosphere face first I'll be the greatest man in history to swim with the stars in a dying thirst for the astral avenues to welcome me twirling towards her ballerina smile I'll tell her without a voice, come to me in the rising evening after a while we'll toast the broken bottle tramps hiding in Cadillacs on the backstreets as the grey Philadelphia alleys lay damp talk to the moon in telegraph heartbeats So meet me on Saturn, on Bowery Row in some ugly rain painted sad cafe you'll know me by the cut of my clothes we'll share a smoke, a laugh, if you'll stay if you'll say, how about you and me? Well how about it? "Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey |
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| © Copyright 2004 Zach Hilgefort - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I love the feel of this! |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
"we'll toast the broken bottle tramps hiding in Cadillacs on the backstreets as the grey Philadelphia alleys lay damp talk to the moon in telegraph heartbeats" this had me rivetted to the page to the end...niiiicely done... **babygirL** |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'll need my reservations for Saturn and my favorite coat of the century I wear whenever I need to learn to step between the raindrops and step over the wet cement cracks till I'm conquered at the bus stop till I haven't broken my mother's back I need to calculate my tragectory ~*~ Play on words? Tragedy comes to mind... while trajectory would be the way to find home again... Love this... an overall sampling of fine, dappled talent... |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
Actually, that wasn't meant to be a play on words at all.. I was writing this in Windows Wordpad (used to use Microsoft Word, but I got annoyed with it, needed something more simple), and I originally spelled it "trajectory", the correct way. But I was on this thesaurus-rhyming dictionary site (which I every now and then use when my brain is stuck in the poetic mud), and checked the spelling for it on there. They had it spelled with a 'G' instead. Felt a little wrong to me, but I figured, why argue with a web site? Heh heh. So oops, my bad.. I'll fix that... unless it actually sounds better as a wordplay on "tragic". I dunno. Thanks, all. "Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I like the flow of this, it has almost a jazzy sense to it as it dances through my mind. Enjoyed.  SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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