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Open Poetry #33
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Beautiful & Damaged
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Beautiful & Damaged |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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You lit your cigarette walked to the window turned in half pose -- "do you remember how vivid orchids look after rain? their color alive" I wanted to – to feel that alive again I remember watching the smoke rise from your mouth, almost as though you were burning words into air another moment of embrace between layers ----to softness as it dances beneath us maybe in reflections of how fingers touched the pale yellow sliding along windowsills and I would tell you what its like -- real silence-- but I cant describe it here beautiful and damaged the way: water trembles upon the petals these petals made for words kissing the sound of water as if this existed just for me before rain washes the color away I tried to write about you once these words already written for you in faded ink so I just smile and remember: to softness as it danced beneath us Le Gardien de Mes Mots ~~*~~ Read between the lines look deep into each word and you will understand the depth of my soul (GE) ~~**~~ |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Tender words to ponder...nice.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Stunning L, simply stunning |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"and I would tell you what its like -- real silence-- but I cant describe it here beautiful and damaged the way: water trembles upon the petals these petals made for words kissing the sound of water as if this existed just for me before rain washes the color away I tried to write about you once these words already written for you in faded ink" For now...this is an incredible bit of writing Loopy. I'll be back...  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
This really flows, Lauren. Just beautiful. I missed wishing you happy birthday. I hope it was a good one. *hugs* ......jo |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
fantabulous Lauren. Maree  cuz fate is not just whose cooking smells good |
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Contabo Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159 |
To me, as I read this, I felt like I was in the middle of a great novel. I wish you could take this and plant it in the center of about 20 chapters!! I would read every word. Contabo |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
wow...this carves deeply into the soul... niiiice... **babygirL** |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
kissing the sound of water as if this existed just for me before rain washes the color away I tried to write about you once these words already written for you in faded ink so I just smile and remember: Lovely L~ ....so precious these words. The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
God, Lauren, this could be a screenplay. It blew me away . . . the silence, that is. What a beautiful intro. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Your writing is beyond compare Lauren. Time to publish a book I would say. Love ya pretty lady~ ~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~ |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
lady with sad eyes and mittens on to keep her hands warm writes to her soul and leaves the door open she is lovely well penned lady lauren |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Beautiful Lauren. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You just keep getting better and better Lauren.  You have a way of telling truth gently and I admire that very much. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
The world is shopworn....and so are we....but there is great beauty all the same. Some of it, like this, is found in Greeneyes' poetry. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I remember watching the smoke rise from your mouth, almost as though you were burning words into air ~*~ I remember moments like this... Lauren? Do you have any idea how much I appreciate you not only as a poet...but as a person?  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Lauren, I felt I was watching a movie from the 40's and that is a good thing, quality. I was "in wow"  hope all is well. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I remember watching the smoke rise from your mouth, almost as though you were burning words into air ======================================= and you scultp words into poetry lovely lovely poetry  I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
What all those people up there said? Yep! This is ALL that. A stellar write! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I tried to write about you once these words already written for you in faded ink so I just smile and remember: Lordie, gal... this is one where every line sinks right into a person's soul... I could have copied any part and been spotlighting excellence!!! But these lines... they touched most. *S* |
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