Open Poetry #33 |
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A chilled Silence |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal ![]() |
Tears define me this day In the silence of the morning In the silence of you In the silence – Of the distance That is woven between us I feel you stepping back Closing in Upon yourself Leaving me here In the bite of the cold Of the stillness wrought By your retreating steps I am naked and bare Exposed to the frost That encases the fingertips Of nothingness Frozen beneath the stare Of eyes no longer there And these tears that I shed Are as diamonds upon ice Sliding o’er hues of glacial blue Slowed by the cold That lingers in this moment This moment Of missing you s.a.t. Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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© Copyright 2004 s.a.t. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus![]() ![]()
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Mine is but a noonday walk in the park compared to this...perhaps some balm to cure the ache? Well written Susan.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
understanding this ![]() |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Your verbage to describe feelings really bring the reader in enough to feel the cold emotion of this piece. Well written and smooth as silk flow even though the topic is not as silky. Wonderful read. |
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aujussy wolf![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
And these tears that I shed Are as diamonds upon ice Sliding o’er hues of glacial blue Slowed by the cold That lingers in this moment This moment Of missing you , .... speachless I am , sigh ~wolfy ((hug)) |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Beautiful Susan...perhaps my favorite of all of your awesome works! Eric |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Many can understand the silence of which you speak but perhaps none can describe it as well as you've done here. Wonderful write! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
awww Susan, you know you write beautifully . . . this reminded me of being in the bathtub after the water runs out . . . |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Excellent write! You have expressed that particular silence masterfully. Love, Margherita |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You managed to remind me of the "chilled silence" that I have endured in times past. I sure hope that this is just highly descriptive and emotive poetry and not a true reflection of what you are experiencing. Love & Light, Linda |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Tears define me this day In the silence of the morning In the silence of you In the silence – Of the distance That is woven between us" feelin this one... ![]() ![]() |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
sad...but oh so pretty. very well done. "Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
I loved the morphine-like melancholy in this piece, Susan. Well done. coyote ![]() |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
this does ache but with such grandeur |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is the sad truth...it can feel so good when all is well but hurt so much when problems arise...James |
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Robert Joseph Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491South Carolina |
It is, for this type of work that I come to PIP to read. Greatly enjoyed! Robert Joseph |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Your words could not more aptly describe the silence. Excellent write...full of the emotion. Patricia |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
lovely romantica poe would shiver but yet be aroused enjoyed this |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you all for your kind replies - I appreciate the love and warmth here upon these blue pages - have been out of town for a bit, no internet - talk about withdrawls. Hugs to all, and thank you again - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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