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exhale
Senior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2004-09-29 02:48 PM

words that flow from your mouth,
gracefully,
burning my heart.

"the moon was put into the sky for you."
he said.
"the ocean was made from the tears of your lost loves."
he said.
"the stars,the stars, were shaped after your eyes."
he said.

look at me with love in your eyes
i might believe you.

the moon shines to it's own will.

the sky cried for the ocean to come
not for i,
not for i.

the stars,
the stars
they were brought from the heavens
to decorate the sky.

you'll brush the hair out of my eyes
and fill the world with fairy tales,
i'll soak in the words like poisen
and die happy.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-09-29 02:51 PM

Very poignant writing, very well done.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-09-29 02:53 PM

Very ironic

Nice quality write

Dave

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2004-10-01 12:53 PM

I feel it...James

Robert Joseph
Member

since 2000-10-07

Posts 491
South Carolina

4 posted 2004-10-01 08:09 PM

Your words run deep within the soul of this reader...Greatly enjoyed!

Robert Joseph

Ivy Rose
Senior Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 1300
MA, USA

5 posted 2004-10-01 10:40 PM

A very different and refreshing romantic tale. It seemed your heart was a bit skittish. But ultimutely it is the faith in the words from a heart of love that make the difference for you. Excellent writing.

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

6 posted 2004-10-01 11:45 PM

Good to read your work. This is a fine piece, right from the heart. KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

7 posted 2004-10-02 10:32 AM

Very enjoyable read. I really liked the well placed repetitive lines in this piece. Each line in this holds their own weight without saying too much or too little. Excellent write and I very much enjoyed.

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

8 posted 2004-10-02 01:43 PM

you'll brush the hair out of my eyes
and fill the world with fairy tales,

.....
...love it ex, great release
~w

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