Open Poetry #33 |
The Cycle |
E S West Member
since 2004-08-31
Posts 116California |
Sun chasing moon gets lost in dark. Moon chasing sun gets lost in light. Light brings sweet song of skylark. Dark brings coyotes lone remark. Stars shine with crystalline delight. Day's warm beams bring forth invite. Sun chasing moon gets lost in dark. Moon chasing sun gets lost in light. Into life's journey we embark, Treading the cycle where we might. Some get nowhere, some leave their mark. Some lost in dark, while some shine bright. Sun chasing moon gets lost in dark. Moon chasing sun gets lost in light. "always be true to SELF, and follow your heart.." |
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© Copyright 2004 Eric Shawn West - All Rights Reserved | |||
DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Can I suggest your quality is above form Write words that delight and leave the purists to dance on structure Dave |
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E S West Member
since 2004-08-31
Posts 116California |
one of the best replies I have ever gotten, thank you sir... I do like form and meter, it has definitely helped my writing, but I feel content, and writing to match what I feel at that time, and just writing something that feels right to me or maybe is a little different is what is important....and from all my reading of the masters and classical poetry, I find most often that they also stray from absolute strict form and meter,,, especially my favorite,,, "The Bells" by E A Poe.. I do enjoy the fact that people here critique my work in all ways, I asked for it... and find it always useful, wether I choose to use it or not, and everyone here has been very thoughtful and well meaning when they offer their advice... Thanks again Dave.... E S "always be true to SELF, and follow your heart.." |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I like the circle effect I experienced while reading... I am new to writing as well, so hello and welcome to PIP |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I like the circle effect I experienced while reading... I am new to writing as well, so hello and welcome to PIP |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Eric~ I think this is simply a wonderful piece of word-art~ To take the reader 'full-circle' takes quite the talent ! You've got it ! Delightful read this day~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
I love this cyclical feel and its presentation - Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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E S West Member
since 2004-08-31
Posts 116California |
all your words are most appreciated..so. glad you all enjoyed...the Rondel is one of my favorite french forms along with rondeaus and triolets, they are always fun to write, and to read, in my view... E S West "always be true to SELF, and follow your heart.." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, with my pen name, am I in the dark, or the light, or in the dusk/dawn edges of shadowland that hangs in-between? |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
To brave a piece of structure is a poet indeed. I enjoyed this piece much, and one of the things I enjoyed most is that there is content which leaves an insight to something so common, that most give no thought or acknowledgement to. I am glad I found this one. |
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