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Open Poetry #33
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The Original of Dawn
| Open Poetry #33 |
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The Original of Dawn |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
I've tried to rewrite this a few times and I always come back to the original passion, lies and self-disgust. I dont think I have ever published the original. Dave Dawn I stand on a hill and I see red I see my lies across the horizon I see a new day and yet not a new life I see my words of last night hang in the air I feel the cold of last night I feel the need of last night I love your love The sun rises a little more Why can’t I have it’s gentleness Why can’t I have it’s vision Why can’t I have it’s fury Why can’t I have it’s belonging I stand at a valley I remember from a distance Your smile Your warmth Your love I remember my words I remember my lies The kisses frame my shame I wan’t to hide From the sun From my soul From my name From my love From me I stand here with nothing You sleep there with everything I lied to you I misled you I slept with you I used you I disgraced you by making you a fool Why I will face the sun It will scorch me free I will face my future It will blind my past I will face my lies Looking backwards But can I face you Maybe you will understand me before I leave A dog with no tail A cur with no honour A dog to take any bone The sun rises and I look to it’s heart I hope I can take some of it’s fire Before I leave Before I face you I love you And that love means I must leave you |
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| © Copyright 2004 Dave Page - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This is probably one of the most pure writes I have ever read of yours Dave. The intensity and utter true are impeccable. TD |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
very open here, very vulnerable...you confront the truth in this... i applaude this  |
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Snowflake From Hell Senior Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 777My own little Icey Oblivion |
wow One cannot see what lies within if one does not see the obvious |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
The hardest part of life is facing ourselves and you do it here so that must be an achievement. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
I will face the sun It will scorch me free I will face my future It will blind my past I will face my lies Looking backwards But can I face you particularly struck by this stanza. achingly sad and hauntingly poignant. i salute your courage in sharing |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Love it! This is really an outpouring of emotion. It speaks well the authors heart. Bravo! Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Someone said you me you can run away from everything but you can't run away from yourself. It is a comment on my days when I had the ethics, scruples and morals of an alley cat on a tin roof. I am better behaved these days. I did a networking meeting the other day and someone asked me if I wanted my portrait taken. I said with my face, she said "I can patch that up to". ThisDiamond Thanks TD but even I blanch at some of the others I wrote when I got too honest. muted But I still ran away. dave Snowflake From Hell Thanks but whilst not being a loner, I have always have trouble settling down and in a way this incorporated a part of my life when I didn't give a damn about anything. Dave Honeybunch Breaking through the facade is good and bad. The good is that you learn which should give strength; the worst is that you break down the protection and no-one else has, which makes you vunerable. Learning to know myself and face history wasn't a pleasent experience and this was part of a vehicle I used to reconsider at that time. I dont think it has changed my character although it is mitigated and I tend to stay in one place for much longer these days but the idea of getting into a car and driving 1000 mile with virtually nothing but myself is always there. Dave kaile I was in Singapore 1967 - 1969 in Sembawang. Part of this was to do with Singapore and a relationship I had there at that time. Dave EvocativeVerse2 Some of us are part of history and still part of the future. It is funny but at that time I was still into raw words, raw vision, raw emotion. I write more polished now, and some like Boy Soldier evolved but I still read bloody heroes too which is where it really came from. Thanks Dave |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
an introspective and cleansing write |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
An outoing write I think. It had nothing to do with thinking about myself until afterwards. dave |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice spill onto the pages...James |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Wow, Dave! This was such a wonderful outpouring of emotions. Great write! Take care.......Sue I am in motion |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
JamesMichael Thanks James It is almost, at times whether some words have a time and place - ignored otherwise that become just something that seems right. Dave Suetang Sue From someone who writes as you do, that is nice. dave |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Almost forgot to ask...why must you leave...James |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
gut wrenching outpour of honesty and truth. Wonderful purging Dave, very well done. The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
JamesMichael I supposed I was frightened but the truth was, I wasn't prepared to condemn someone I cared for to a Navy Married Quarters. Dave Gentle Spirit Words should always be spoken Maybe they dont get heard but it is not a purging or we should all be drenched Love is in all of us but so is reality and our own lives Dave |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
wow` thanks for sharing |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
 had to come back, i can relate to this, i too have run away from situations, and my heart has never forgiven nor forgotten the love i left, as he died soon after i left, his son never got to know him, if i would of stayed maybe he would still be here. i know ive never been able to give my heart completly to another from it.thanks for sharing, i know now this is something i really need to deal with. |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Good Morning Dave .... I have read this several times and my only conclusion is that it is like standing in the town square stalk naked. A wonderful cleansing ... hugs, Marti |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
one more time |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I believe this is one of the most honest writes I've read. And for me, to me, would be the honesty of allowing her choice...even if there isn't a relationship, there must be an overpowering respect for someone who is so honest.... |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
again |
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