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Open Poetry #33

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Please Stay With Me With Susan

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vandana

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

0 posted 2004-09-20 11:34 AM

My love,you are as no other
Your heart so rich and true,
you touch me deeply, stir my soul

And I whisper -"please stay with me"

You are whispering to me
By saying please stay with me
But darling now time has come
For me to leave
I have to go now
Untill then I will stay on till the dawn
Please stay with me.

Would then that dawn should never be
For our hearts should always beat as one
The stars above shall cry theirs tears
upon our parting at the rise of sun

And I bid you dear-"please stay with me"

The dawn should never be our hearts
When we are in love
And you want me to stay with you
Whole life through
I will stay on with you
Though whole life through.....

Then in the twilight we shall wander
hearts intwined with clasp of fingers
Where two have now been made as one
And the voice of our promise ever lingers

echoing the words "I will stay with you"

© Copyright 2004 vandana - All Rights Reserved

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2004-09-20 11:37 AM

Oh, I do so enjoy a love story with a happy ending!

You two make quite a fine poetic duo!

Love & hugs to you both!
Linda

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-09-20 12:13 PM

a happy ending just seems to make life seem all that more alive and breathing, with a treasure chest of songs....lovely

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

3 posted 2004-09-20 10:19 PM

Vandana, looks great, but we lost the 4th line on the first verse - it should end with "I find myself bound to you" - just a note

It was fun. I enjoyed working with you - thanks for the pleasure.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Midnitesun

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2004-09-20 10:44 PM

What a beautiful poetic blending of voices. BRAVA!

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

5 posted 2004-09-21 11:48 AM

Beautiful!

Eric

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

6 posted 2004-09-21 12:42 PM

wonderful dueting ladies!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2004-09-21 12:45 PM

Very lovely duet ladies!
Bravo and hugs~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

8 posted 2004-09-22 06:11 AM

Such tender, loving duetting!

Sweet longing answered.

Love, Margherita

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