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Open Poetry #33
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VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2004-09-18 07:42 PM



I'm feeling like the stanzas should be rearranged so that the
                             ending leaves a better taste. Ideas?

                             Beauty of the Broken Light


                             promises made
                             promises lost
                             promises kept
                             promises tossed

                             the color of truth
                             found in the light
                             refracted in beauty
                             patterned delight

                             we watch for a rainbow
                             we seek for its end;
                             will it be discovered
                             around the next bend?

                             the prisms of tears
                             or raindrops that fall
                             divide life’s sweet rays
                             as colors enthrall

                             to always be seeking
                             there’s things we may miss
                             in the hues of a teardrop
                             or the scent of a kiss

                             while watching for corners
                             or beyond the next span
                             we may come colliding
                             with what is at hand

                             the damage we do
                             may be beyond remedy
                             we must pray for staunch wisdom
                             and sage eyes to see

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

© Copyright 2004 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved
ShiningWindHaze
Member
since 2004-09-06
Posts 138
California, United States
1 posted 2004-09-18 08:35 PM


I don't really understand the placing of stanza changing your poem. Sorry I can't be of any help.

- Haze

aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
2 posted 2004-09-18 09:16 PM


the prisms of tears
                             or raindrops that fall
sweet lines v,
~w

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2004-09-18 09:30 PM


Your title called the stanzas to place...they are as they should be...
Beautiful.
TD

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