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Open Poetry #33
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Do You Know Me?
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Do You Know Me? |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers 
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Like a stray puppy Looking for a home Living on the streets What will I become? Shying away from strangers Eyes warily scrutinise My bark is always louder I try hard not to bite Love is all I seek True, without pretense With open arms I welcome thee Break down my defense Call me your precious I will love you with my all Forgive my cautiousness I still nurse a wounded paw I can be so adorable Like the puppies from the store A whirlwind so unstoppable Prancing on all fours I also like to cuddle up On cold and rainy days But I am just a stray pup Lonely everyday _,,,^.^,,,_ Florence [This message has been edited by Mon Cherie (09-19-2004 06:50 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Mon Cherie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Mon Cherie, There is much to be said for the stray pup. Ebjoyed |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Wow. I love this poem and I enjoyed it very much! It makes me feel sad for the puppy though.  What can I say, I'm a dog lover?I'm going to add it to my library!  Nice work!  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Florence~ Adorable are these thoughts~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I take in stray puppies and kitties...  |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Puppy, or analogy, this tugs a the heart strings. SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
this reads sad but not too sad. kinda like a shrug-in-the-shoulders kinda of wry sadness smooth read, yay!  though if i may nitpick, i think the "thee" is too cute and reads out-of-place in your musing. also, "ME" in capital letters seems attention-seeking and becomes demeaning to the poem, which holds the strength more than adequately keep writing  |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Seymour Tabin Thanks for taking the time to read this. *Alli4000* Thanks for bookmarking this. Ya, I guess I love dogs too... Heh, juz not the big scary ones... the little furry ones are just soooooooooo cute!Marge Tindal Thanks for reading this, Marge... It took me the whole night to came up with this... heh...  when I should actually be doing something else... *shhh*Sunshine You are such a kind person to do that! Not many people care about the strays. I have a friend who takes care of the stray cats at her void deck, but that is all she could do... Susan You are quite right, I actually started this as an analogy. Hope you liked it...kaile Thanks for the suggestions, pal... Does it help if I said that the caps in ME was an accident?  You thought this was smooth? Actually, I think it still reads funny in some areas such as... "My bark is always louder I try hard not to bite" "Forgive my cautiousness I still nurse a wounded paw" _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, you no longer are a "stray pup", mon cherie cher! Welcome to your new home! Full of love, good food, and constant and loyal companionship! I live on Cloud 9 and you will always have a home with me!  A sweet, yet sad, poem ~ and beautifully written. EA |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Earth Angel Yes! I'm glad to share this warm and loving home with all of you... _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i didn't stumble over this at all but anyway, i think it should be the case that we are our worst critics. so, yay! |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Mmm I love this poem. Of course I have a new Jack Russell Terrier pup named Tinkerbell. LOL! I didn't stumble over the lines at all Mon Cherie. The rhymes may be imperfect...but the flow is there and it really does read quite easily. Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
enjoyed this |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
kaile Wow... haha... thanks for the continued support ya... EvocativeVerse2 I can't imagine how Tinkerbell looks like, but a mix between Jack Russell and Terrier??? I think it muz be really cute!! passing shadows Thanks for giving this a read... _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
A thoroughly enjoyable read, Mon Cherie. |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Midnitesun Thanks for taking the time to read this... Glad that you like it. Hee_,,,^.^,,,_ |
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