navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #33 » Do You Know Me?
Open Poetry #33
Post A Reply Post New Topic Do You Know Me? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers

0 posted 2004-09-18 02:19 PM


Like a stray puppy
Looking for a home
Living on the streets
What will I become?

Shying away from strangers
Eyes warily scrutinise
My bark is always louder
I try hard not to bite

Love is all I seek
True, without pretense
With open arms I welcome thee
Break down my defense

Call me your precious
I will love you with my all
Forgive my cautiousness
I still nurse a wounded paw

I can be so adorable
Like the puppies from the store
A whirlwind so unstoppable
Prancing on all fours

I also like to cuddle up
On cold and rainy days
But I am just a stray pup
Lonely everyday


_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

[This message has been edited by Mon Cherie (09-19-2004 06:50 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 Mon Cherie - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2004-09-18 03:06 PM


Mon Cherie,
There is much to be said for the stray pup.
Ebjoyed

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
2 posted 2004-09-18 03:17 PM


Wow. I love this poem and I enjoyed it very much! It makes me feel sad for the puppy though. What can I say, I'm a dog lover?
I'm going to add it to my library!
Nice work!  

~Alli~


*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2004-09-18 03:17 PM


Florence~
Adorable are these thoughts~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-09-18 03:21 PM


I take in stray puppies and kitties...
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-09-18 04:18 PM


Puppy, or analogy, this tugs a the heart strings.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
6 posted 2004-09-19 02:20 AM


this reads sad but not too sad. kinda like a shrug-in-the-shoulders kinda of wry sadness

smooth read, yay!

though if i may nitpick, i think the "thee" is too cute and reads out-of-place in your musing. also, "ME" in capital letters seems attention-seeking and becomes demeaning to the poem, which holds the strength more than adequately

keep writing

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
7 posted 2004-09-19 06:49 AM


Seymour Tabin
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

*Alli4000*
Thanks for bookmarking this. Ya, I guess I love dogs too... Heh, juz not the big scary ones... the little furry ones are just soooooooooo cute!

Marge Tindal
Thanks for reading this, Marge... It took me the whole night to came up with this... heh... when I should actually be doing something else... *shhh*

Sunshine
You are such a kind person to do that! Not many people care about the strays. I have a friend who takes care of the stray cats at her void deck, but that is all she could do...

Susan
You are quite right, I actually started this as an analogy. Hope you liked it...

kaile
Thanks for the suggestions, pal... Does it help if I said that the caps in ME was an accident?

You thought this was smooth? Actually, I think it still reads funny in some areas such as...
"My bark is always louder
I try hard not to bite"
"Forgive my cautiousness
I still nurse a wounded paw"

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2004-09-19 09:04 AM


Well, you no longer are a "stray pup", mon cherie cher! Welcome to your new home! Full of love, good food, and constant and loyal companionship! I live on Cloud 9 and you will always have a home with me!

A sweet, yet sad, poem ~ and beautifully written.


EA

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
9 posted 2004-09-20 10:27 AM


Earth Angel
Yes! I'm glad to share this warm and loving home with all of you...

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2004-09-25 05:40 AM


i didn't stumble over this at all but anyway, i think it should be the case that we are our worst critics. so, yay!
EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

11 posted 2004-09-25 06:31 AM


Mmm I love this poem. Of course I have a new Jack Russell Terrier pup named Tinkerbell. LOL! I didn't stumble over the lines at all Mon Cherie. The rhymes may be imperfect...but the flow is there and it really does read quite easily.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-09-25 09:54 AM


enjoyed this
Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
13 posted 2004-09-25 10:27 AM


kaile
Wow... haha... thanks for the continued support ya...

EvocativeVerse2
I can't imagine how Tinkerbell looks like, but a mix between Jack Russell and Terrier??? I think it muz be really cute!!

passing shadows
Thanks for giving this a read...

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2004-09-25 10:53 AM


A thoroughly enjoyable read, Mon Cherie.

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
15 posted 2004-09-26 10:47 AM


Midnitesun
Thanks for taking the time to read this... Glad that you like it. Hee

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #33 » Do You Know Me?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary