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Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2004-09-13 10:02 PM

She slowly picked up the day’s mail
with numb shaking fingers,
sighing heavily as she turned it over,
carefully opening the sealed envelope
as if it were a fragile eggshell
filled with some rare endangered embryo
awaiting the moment of birth.

"We regret to inform you..."

Sinking into the once-comfortable
wooden rocking chair by the window,
she found herself blankly staring out
upon the carefully tended flower beds
bursting vibrantly in full bloom;
asters and mums, last minute pansies
shouting their final hurrah.
But all she saw was a shriveled reality,
the unexpected ending of her world.

"We regret to inform you..."

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2004-09-13 10:42 PM

Oh Kacy, this one just reaches right in and grabs at your heart!
Wonderful imagery..reminds me of a scene from a war movie..

So sad...so final.
This is a keeper!
Hugs~

~Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile.~

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

2 posted 2004-09-13 10:43 PM

Sad. I just got to see my Nephew home on leave from Iraq - quite interesting. He's off again end of this month. At least he's no longer a gunner on a hum-v - makes my sister feel a lot better.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2004-09-13 11:04 PM

Nancy, it's a script I was working on a few years ago, but never finished.
Susan, wishing him a safe return.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-09-14 12:45 PM

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

5 posted 2004-09-14 01:40 AM

Midnitesun,
this was beautifully done.

Susan, will keep your nephew in thoughts.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2004-09-14 02:30 AM

and then He created the horse...

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

7 posted 2004-09-14 02:49 AM

Kacy -- so good. First image was casualty of war. Second image was a turn-down letter from a potential employer; third image.....a turn down letter from med school or something like that. Good write and meaningful in many ways.

....jo

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

8 posted 2004-09-14 12:33 PM

There is an elegant letter that Lincoln wrote to thank a woman for sacrificing 5 sons in the Civil War. It turned out that the letter was a hoax. It is still beautiful prose...I'll put it in a response if I can find it.
You've written a beautiful piece here, Kacy, with so much punch in each line. Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2004-09-14 12:49 PM

words no one ever wants to hear Kacy. Yep, this hits you in the solar plexux for sure!

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

10 posted 2004-09-14 12:53 PM

I cannot imagine the suffering and pain of loss during a time like this, and the aftershock of it...awful!

Written with profound care
Thank you for sharing

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

11 posted 2004-09-14 01:01 PM

My wasband was a police detective and I lived in constant fear of hearing bad news ~ not in the form of a letter, but in the form of two uniformed officers coming to my door.

The mood of this write touched me deeply. Kacy, you are a wonderful poet and have a very tender and sensitive heart.

Love, Peace, & Harmony,
Linda

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

12 posted 2004-09-14 02:25 PM

Oh wow...this is powerful!

Eric

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

13 posted 2004-09-14 07:41 PM

wow...this poem brings many thoughts, images, memories to mind. great write

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

14 posted 2004-09-14 09:05 PM

Thanks to each of you for your time and kind replies. Perhaps I should return to this script someday, and finish the story. I put it down because I thought it was too common a storyline, and would not hold anyone's interest for long.
The problem is, it IS too common a storyline, and I have great difficulty accepting that this scene is played over and over again in real life, generation after generation.
*sigh* I like Iliana's alternative interpretations.

BTW, the original idea was to simply follow this woman around, offer glimpses of day-to-day and how she worked her way out of the depths of sadness and despair...alone. OK, so this has been done a million times already. LOL, but my story would have had some unusual twists and turns, as convoluted as curled-up autumn leaves.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

15 posted 2004-09-15 12:08 PM

Nice writing...James

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