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Open Poetry #33
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Darker Season
Junior Member
since 2004-04-01
Posts 48
Wisconsin

0 posted 2004-08-25 01:57 PM


Hey, this is another song I wrote for my old band...check it out and let me know what you think...

Lost

I'm looking through my telescope
Staring at the past
Examining the memory
Of when I saw you last
And as I sit observing
This old moment spent with you
My eyes can't help but focus on
The things I didn't do:
I never told you how I felt
I didn't hold on tight
And now you're just another star
That's lost inside the night

Oh...Oh no
You're lost inside the darkness
Yeah, you're lost and so am I
Just looking through my telescope
As you go drifting by
Oh...Oh no

I miss you
I need you
I love you
I lost you

Oh...oh no...lost

I"m looking through my telescope
Searching deep inside
Examining this old regret
I've tried so hard to hide:
If second chances don't exist
Why did I let you go?
You could have been my everything
But now I'll never know
'Cause there's no way to start again
No way to make things right
And now you're just another star
That's lost inside the night

Oh...Oh no
You're lost inside the darkness
Yeah, you're lost and so am I
Just looking through my telescope
As you go drifting by
Oh...Oh no

I miss you
I need you
I love you
I lost you

Oh...oh no...lost
Oh no...you're lost inside the night


© Copyright 2004 Andrew J*M - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2004-08-25 02:01 PM


"And as I sit observing
This old moment spent with you
My eyes can't help but focus on
The things I didn't do:
I never told you how I felt
I didn't hold on tight
And now you're just another star
That's lost inside the night"


I may as well have copied the entire song...I loved it...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2004-08-25 02:09 PM


I"m looking through my telescope
Searching deep inside
Examining this old regret
I've tried so hard to hide:
If second chances don't exist
Why did I let you go?
You could have been my everything
But now I'll never know
'Cause there's no way to start again
No way to make things right
And now you're just another star
That's lost inside the night
So much said here.  A wonderful write. Enjoyed this much.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-08-25 02:30 PM


kwel, very much enjoyed this...would love to hear it to real music.

Wonderful write

wandering glider
Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501
aloft
4 posted 2004-08-25 02:38 PM


works for me
enjoyed

-glider-

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
5 posted 2004-08-25 02:53 PM


'lost inside the night'---what a great line! This is so smooth and filled with emotion.  I love it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Darker Season
Junior Member
since 2004-04-01
Posts 48
Wisconsin
6 posted 2004-08-25 04:33 PM


Thank you for your kind comments...I greatly appreciate it!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2004-08-25 05:54 PM


"And now you're just another star
That's lost inside the night"
that is going to stick in my mind all day now
and that's how it should be, if the message and the music are in synch, in harmony with reality

I really really like this one; simple, straightforward, gets the message across.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
8 posted 2004-08-25 08:24 PM


very nicely done!

Corinne

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
9 posted 2004-08-25 09:47 PM


I love every single line and phrase.
Wish I could hear this one sung
because it's just so beautiful.
Awesome job...

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-08-26 04:32 AM


I like it!
MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
11 posted 2004-08-26 07:31 AM


yes  very good  i liked it lots


Annie Shadow
Junior Member
since 2004-05-02
Posts 27
Drifting
12 posted 2004-08-29 05:33 PM


Nice work
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