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Open Poetry #33
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Taking the Blade
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Taking the Blade |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA 
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Blindfolded, blind and folded into creases of time, long hours rehearsing, this rhyme, the thrower and the assistant, precision’s cold embrace. Him throwing, her frozen daring not to breath, to move, to speak. Dodging his blades by remaining invisible, untouched, she is saved. While he attempts to engrave her with his being, his attitudes and pessimism, snappy moments intended to carve deep wounds of voided passion, to swift flick her with his pain. Today, she flinched and bent into the dagger taking it to the heart. Balance gave way to age. Steel through soft flesh scathed. A bleeding heart remained bound to the wheel ever turning still, and his sharpened will penetrated every feel she might have felt had he stopped after one, stopped the wheel that spun, unbound her hands, ungagged her tongue, and removed the sting of what he’d done. Blind and folded into time, frozen forever now is his rhyme. [This message has been edited by iliana (08-16-2004 03:09 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 J.A.A.Powell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Dixie, there's been so much kidding around with Susan's knife throwing...guess I was inspired. I really like it that she is the thrower and not the one tacked up on a spinning wheel! Glad you liked it.  ....jo |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
A host of symbols and imagery. I just sat in a tragic night at the circus. This poem is layered very well and flows seamlessly. This is one of my favorites of your posts. It really boasts of your poetic talent. Kevin |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Kevin, *blushing*, those were very kind words, friend. ....jo[This message has been edited by iliana (08-16-2004 02:37 AM).] |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
shivvvers oh my this does cut to the bone WOW Jo, just plain WOW |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Muted, thanks...I don't usually write dark things, but I guess it's August, huh? ....jo |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Wow yes this was so penetrating , some things do cut deep, it makes one want to place armour plating around my heart Hope |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Hope, thank you so much for your post and for reading. ......jo |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Jo, this is outstanding. A most insightful penning. Thank you! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Thank you, Helen! I kind of thought you might like this one.  ...jo |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, Susan simply has to read this!  Lily jo, you are an incredibly gifted and versatile writer! I never know what kind of a poetic treat I'll find when I click onto one of your titles!Have a glorious day, my friend! Linda  |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Jo, sweetie, I never throw a good tool away! No throwing here. A tomahawk, maybe, but even then that's for fun. No, the blade stays within the hand, much like sword play. The main purpose behind my fun is actually a form of self defense and less than lethal response to attack. It is truly amazing stuff. A blade is actually a great equalizer between woman and male attacker. It helps to make up for the strength and size issues. This poem is so deep and poignant. Wow. You did an excellent job. Your talent shines. Hugs to you  SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Jo, I liked; wish I could concentrate more... Comment will be brief, in discomfort here. Take care. Love you. |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Stunningly Painful...Your words cut deep and bring memories bubbling to the surface...Fantastic writing... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Dodging his blades by remaining invisible, untouched, she is saved. While he attempts to engrave her with his being, his attitudes and pessimism, snappy moments intended to carve deep wounds of voided passion, to swift flick her with his pain. I like it when a poem gives me shivers... this one did! *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
nicely layered.....this is the sort of writing that can and will be read again and again |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I thought of Susan also as soon as I saw the title....but once I got into the poem, it became very clear that this was about some arrogant selfcentered egotistical male...and a woman who suffered through it all... A very well written poem. Well done...and also happy the tools are not for throwing. The only equalizer that I think I might have against Susan with a knife are a pair of track shoes, rocket powered....in reverse! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Pell Member
since 2001-09-16
Posts 134Pacific NW |
I've a healthy respect for sharp edges, and the scars that taught me that respect. I'm really beginning to like your range, Jo, terrific work  |
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~K~ Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148 |
I am giving this one a standing ovation!! I loved it. Can a poem be sweet and chilling? If so I think this one fits the bill. Fabulous title too! |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
cutting edge a thrill from start to finish; nice change of pace here |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
wheww, this is some very heavy metal writing missy....intense, heart wrenching, kept my attention the entire way through... A very good write |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
wow - what powerful images you share with us here - I sat glued to my computer screen reading it over and over and feeling more and more each time I read - this is just awesome - thanks - Paul |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big angel hugs) Pulling out the blade yourself can indeed be one of the toughest things in life, and something that I wish so many didn't have to do ever so often! (sad sigh) I feel when the blade gets you to the bone, your heart only grows stronger because you recognize and can understand the pain and there you become rich in love and capable of being everyone's tourniquet, then you find as you give your compassion a feather has been placed lightly on your chest over the wound and there's no more bleeding! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, you feel with all your golden heart, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jo, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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Kazm Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 99 |
Your name and your poetry are much alike. Both creative and liltingly beautiful. Kaz |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
I've read and reread this... and each time I like it even more. I just can't come up with a reply to say what I want to say. So I'll just tell you that I love seeing just how much more vast your talent and ability expands with this write. Well done Always, Alyssa Poems are made by fools like me, |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Thanks to all you wonderfully kind poets. This one was brought on by one sharp word. Yep, that's all it took; then my muse went a'wandering. You know....that old "words can kill" cliche. |
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