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Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-08-13 07:15 AM

A lightening flash with thunder rolling near,
A rat scurries through the rubbish in fear,
Echoes in the alley shakes cracked windows
A dark drenched man stands in shadows
With cold rain running into shoes seeping
Soaked hair drip as if it too is weeping.
The storm slowly leaves here for there
To over the asphalt horizon others know
As the rat boldly returns to creeping.

Trucks mock the thunder rolling through the night
Silhouettes of the forgotten cast from headlight
The man sloshes through puddles yet to run away
To walk sidewalks dirt stained to shades of gray
Even the downpour is not enough to wash
The pure white concrete is forever lost
With the city grit and grime winning the fight
The dirty stains are ever there to stay
For the dismal and dirt poor to cross.

Gloom

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-08-13 07:22 AM

You do write gloom well...
and you make me glad I'm not
an innercity dweller...

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

2 posted 2004-08-13 07:32 AM

Thank you, Sunshine
We each write what we know about,
Hence my name,
Always a pleasure to know you enjoy my humble words

Gloom

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

3 posted 2004-08-13 07:46 AM

I could visualize this well, without distraction of an apparent rhyme scheme. You are so talented, Professor..., in the way you arrange your wording, your imagery.
miscellanea

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2004-08-13 07:48 AM

Yes, Sir...that is very true. I spent some time in Chicago working, but lived 60 miles away; I lived in LA in a quieter time decades ago...; and sometimes, we just choose our themes and topics, even when we've had more experience.

Yes, I do enjoy your pennings very much. One must always look at both sides.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2004-08-13 07:52 AM

Professor,
You get an A today, enjoyed.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

6 posted 2004-08-13 07:59 AM

Sounds like DC at night? Among other cities...seems like no one knows whats going on...but I think they do, or we do, but ignore it...

We're kinda on the same wave length with out throughts this morning???? Do you think its in the water???? hehehhehe

Good one Professer...
Hugs Lee J.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

7 posted 2004-08-13 08:16 AM

Thank you, Miscellanea,
I’ve always believed that the rhyme sound be a part of the poem,
But not detract, which oft times shows in a little more complexity than needed
In my poetry. You offer high praise.

Sunshine,
Where I’m sure you could write an occasional dark poem
(as I might be light and airy at times)
you truly excel in the brightness of thought.

Thank you, Seymour,
For the good grade.

Thank you, LeeJ,
I grew up in DC, and know it well also,
But now it’s a little further north in Balt’mor Hon,
Yet there are similarities in all large cities
If we’d only look.
In the water, hmmm not sure, perhaps it’s in the wine,
I finished off a nice Dry Riesling last night watching the thunderstorm.

Gloom

choshi
Senior Member

since 2004-01-01

Posts 1184
New York