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Open Poetry #33
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Ocean Pelicans
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Ocean Pelicans |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Made shade of cloth in sky A parasol sprouting in the sand With thundering near at hand And pelicans drifting by Three serene just above cresting Seen from sand where I was resting Glide as one in a line with wind Effortlessly in formation fly Then diving into the Ocean One, Two, three, fold and go in. Disappearing behind the cresting Unseen from where I was resting Till they’ve taken back to wing Each a dinner catch carrying Lifting higher with each beating Till the float again high in the sky. Cloth / Shade / Sky / Sand / Thunderous Sound (booming) Pelicans / Fly / Wave crest / Three / Glide Fold / Wing / Diving / Following / First Hide / Rolling / Waves / Emerge / Flying Found / Fish / Carried / Wings / Beating Gloom This is like the style of the Chinese T’ang Dynasty, but an example of the problem of translations. Although not an actual ancient poem, More from my recent visitation to the Delmarva Beaches, If you think of the second part as just one symbol About the same size as the others, How compact and uniform the appearance would be in Chinese. Just one aspect of the poetry from that time and place That is lost in translation. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Professor G, I really, really liked this and found it was very inspiring, as well. Did you have a good time in Delaware?  .....jo |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Ilana Pleased you enjoyed T’was a mixed bag, so to speak, But it was in Virginia (the last part of Delmarva) Where fewer people go, and less commercialism. Gloom |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
would have been nice to see... maybe some~day |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I could have sat there all day witnessing the pelicans swoop and scoop and riding the thermals. A very natural write! ~ and I appreciated the background information, Professor! EA  |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
liked this write , very cool |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow! loved this! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Made shade of cloth in sky A parasol sprouting in the sand With thundering near at hand your writing takes the reader to a lovely place with each and every word Beautifully done |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
How did I miss this? It's so calming and peaceful. Thanks for writing the notes about the translation. I found it very interesting. miscellanea |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: How glad we are that you are the Professor, and we, the willing students... |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
yes, the notes are so great! and the poem painted a beautiful picture |
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