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Open Poetry #33

Pseudo Savior

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2004-08-06 04:05 PM

I remember when but one name
was enough.
Now hidden
behind so many.

losing count.

Dressed in necessary deception
proudly waving
he cannot see
he does not know.

It’s the freedom
and the anchor,
both swinging in the balance.

wishing deliverance
went door to door.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-08-06 04:09 PM

Susan....well understood.....great writing!

.....jo

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

2 posted 2004-08-06 07:27 PM

Susan,
You've been reading a few minds today it seems. Enjoyed your writing very much.
miscellanea

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2004-08-06 09:00 PM

made me smile knowingly...

hugs:
M

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

4 posted 2004-08-06 10:33 PM

quote:

It’s the freedom
and the anchor,
both swinging in the balance.

A robust contrast that supplies a sturdy fulcrum for the reader to lift the weight of the final stave. You've fashioned a simple yet stylized parlay with the congregation Susan. We're drawn into the acrimony but it doesn't feel uncomfortable. That's a magick trick. Did you wiggle your nose?

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2004-08-09 09:29 AM

Thank you!!

And LR? you got it...I am a nose wiggler..lol..

thanks!

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