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Dark Poetry #1
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Laden with Guilt
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Laden with Guilt |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
I kneel amidst dead autumn leaves blanketing your grave A cold hardened wind freezing the tears I can't restrain I close my eyes and hang my head reliving the memories of years gone by Sharing my pain the dark clouds have swelled releasing the rain now you cry as well The things in your life you carefully built now crumble forsaken laden with guilt. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
This is such a powerful piece, danni. It brought twears to my eyes...reminding me of my past father. Great poem. michael |
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lostboy Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275New Hampshire, USA |
I love the descriptivness in your writing, dead autum leaves, cold wind hardening tears. Really lets you feel the moment. Nice danni. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Micheal-Thank you so much-It was inspired by my grandmother, whose family that she held together in life has copletely fallen apart since her death. Unfortunately, I know she is watching in disappointment. Lostboy-Thank you, my intentions were to make the reader feel the moment. Glad to see it worked  |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
It sure worked Danni! Very powerful. I have wondered from time to time what the ones who have passed on would think of us now??? Well done ------------------ The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there IS to celebrate. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
Ver cool Ver ver thought provoking ------------------ Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Thank you Isis - I would hope that most of those who have passed would look on with a smile. But unfortunately things have a tendency to fall apart after the loss of a loved one. And I feel that must leave room for disappointment. Thank you Walter. It is a good thing to have your thoughts provoked every now and then. Wouldn't you agree? |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
The last four lines expresses so much for me...thanks for sharing this gem Jenny Lee ------------------ Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. [This message has been edited by JennyLee (edited 12-01-1999).] |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Thank you and your welcome. It is my pleasure to be able to share my thoughts. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Superb. . . your words paint a very vivid picture of the ultimate loss of love. . . but do such things as death really mean the end of a love? Beautiful. .. ------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Can't say much more than what has been already said about this excellent poem, danni. ------------------ JOY |
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Ozzbat New Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 9Canada, Ontario |
Way to go danni, deeply heart felt. Very inspiring... Keep up the work and look forward to more. If there's a way, we'll find it! If there isn't a way, we'll make one... -Hannibal |
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Jaguar Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 51Quezon City, Philippines |
Beautiful piece of art, very powerful indeed!. .......... There is no more turning back this way The path is overgrown and strewn with thorns They've torn the lifeblood from your naked eyes Cast aside to be forlorn.. -Sarah McLachlan |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Here's another one I dug up. Enjoy! |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Keep on digging danni I dont want to miss anything you write.. I related to this with my grandmother too.. she is not gone but she used to hold the truth of family together.. once again well done! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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Geo Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 73Nebraska |
Very deep and powerful, I felt every line! Beautiful work!! Will enjoy seeing more of your work!!! |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
this poem has an overpowering feel of silence... i love it... the individuality of the language and the powerful closing... all-in-all a masterful work... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
many thanks again to all. the responses i receive always brighten my days. |
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