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Geo
Member

since 1999-12-29

Posts 73
Nebraska

0 posted 2000-01-22 11:18 PM

Oh Precious Heart

Oh precious heart
In tragedy lost
So fast like lightening came

In your eyes both death
And life did see
Not once, but twice

My heart was still as you
With trembling hands
I touch your face
Wet and cold
No expression
Bitter reality did beset

Oh you’re precious breath
Music in my ears
A faint hope held on

But too late
For a better place had been seen.

I wrote this about my father as I was with him when he died. Ive never showed this poem as I thought it might be to much in the dark realm, but thought I would take the plunge and post it here.

poetry_kills
Senior Member

since 1999-12-04

Posts 549
new orleans

1 posted 2000-01-22 11:23 PM

geo: first, i think this is an excellent piece... second, i dont think this poem is very "dark" at all... i think it's more honest than dark... you're expressing sincere and very human emotions... it's no ballad, but it's REAL... and i want to thank you for sharing it with us...

sincerely,
jerome the boy with no brain

A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

baerlon
Member

since 2000-01-14

Posts 197
Youngstown and East Liverpool, Ohio, USA

2 posted 2000-01-22 11:47 PM

Don't doubt it this poem belongs here. The emotions in it feel right. Dark or not I enjoyed it and thank you for stabing at it

danni
Senior Member

since 1999-11-20

Posts 688
wisconsin

3 posted 2000-01-31 11:40 PM

i agree with pk- very real indeed. and very well done. glad you too the "plunge". looking forward to more.

lost
Junior Member

since 2000-01-31

Posts 16
New York, NY

4 posted 2000-01-31 11:50 PM

sad poem, liked the line about the eyes, that you saw not only death but life too.

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

5 posted 2000-01-31 11:58 PM

It fits in here beautifully. DOn't worry about putting something different in the only thing we'd object too is too much graphicness in violence or sex.
This was a lovely poem making your father's death seem almost beautiful, certainly peaceful. My sympathies even now.

Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.
~Isis~
(Sovereign of the Spirit)

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