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Dark Poetry #1
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no title yet............any suggestion/comments
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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no title yet............any suggestion/comments |
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Deverone Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 136San Antonio, Tx, USA |
He sits alone no one around. Keeping eyes focused looking at the ground. The heart weighs heavy for a child this small. Unsure of where to turn scared of who to call. Tears running down his face wanting to leave this darkened place. No one to lead him away staring at the ground this day. ------------------ Deverone |
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| © Copyright 1999 Shawn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
So sad and poignant.Nicely done....Title?? 'He sits Alone' ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Walter Poe Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787 |
title 'Mourning Heart' ------------------ Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace, of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Perhaps "Looking Down" or Downward Gaze" might work for a title. Good little piece here. ------------------ Michael Anderson When God puts a tear in your eye, He puts a rainbow in your heart. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Good little verse here short and to the point. I agree w/ Michael...something downward...  Jenny |
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suicidal dreams Member
since 1999-09-28
Posts 343Toledo Ohio USA |
Nice and dark the way i like my poems .Hmm about a title though. How about Forgotten child or as michael said downward Gaze. ------------------ life is short kill quick |
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