word failure - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

X Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-11-07

Posts 1521
Oregon

0 posted 2000-06-03 04:08 PM

the door shut
in a final sort of
resignation
in an aftershock
of word failure
after the demise
of your attempts
to bring about
an affirmation
of my burning
need for you
but my raging pride
refused to yield
and you left
slowly
unwillingly
but so coldly
tangled with
the door's slamming
were your words

"Just remember I tried"

and my mouth
still fallen prey
to the failure of words
was unable

to ask you to stay

MacBeth
Junior Member

since 1999-11-06

Posts 14

1 posted 2000-06-03 05:10 PM

I wonder how the other party felt having everything thrown back in his face?

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

2 posted 2000-06-03 05:30 PM

I like your use of very short lines. That seems to illustrate in my mind, a sense of a loss of words, or at least having trouble finding words to say.

Good work!

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

3 posted 2000-06-03 08:08 PM

I'm with Fractal on this one, you did indeed illustrate the feeling of being unable to get your words and feelings across! Great work.
And check Icq I sent you a message..

I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)

X Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-11-07

Posts 1521
Oregon

4 posted 2000-06-03 11:20 PM

Mac...I am sure he didn't like it much...

Frac & Isis...yup I was definitely at a loss! Ever feel some way, but not even know WHY you feel like that??? *sigh*

~H

Joel the wolf
Senior Member

since 2000-04-06

Posts 1333
Angels Camp

5 posted 2000-06-04 06:43 PM

X Angel, I know what you mean I can write what I want but when it comes to expressing with spoken and to my love it's hard, and a loss of words begain.
The feeling is up in the air, not knowing how you got there.
your words are short but to the point.

Thanks

Joel.

I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

6 posted 2000-06-04 08:17 PM

very unique and I loved the title..

Kathleen
indy31_99@yahoo.com

Portia
Member

since 2000-05-18

Posts 157

7 posted 2000-06-05 12:05 PM

Very well done. It staggers... like the end of a relationship. Excellent.

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

8 posted 2000-06-05 04:29 PM

a wonderful poem, powerful and sharp. I loved the style as the others said it really compliments the feelings running through the poem.

------------------------
"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

amazon_lover
Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 491
Dublin,Ireland

9 posted 2000-06-05 04:39 PM

Hi X Angel
I can relate it a lot. Pride comes before a fall. Its difficult to let our ego to go but if we do that life becomes blissful.

Sincerely
A_L

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.