Something To Believe


I prayed last night,
but the tears wouldn't come.
Just the anguish,
the dying,
and still…I couldn't cry.
I felt so hurt,
so far away,
so alone,
so bad.
I felt,
oh God,
let me cry.
But the tears wouldn't come.
I wanted to pack my bags,
load up my car,
and run,
and run some more,
till I came to the end,
to a wall that wouldn't fall,
to a place that wouldn't leave,
to a something that would always be.
I wanted to live.
I wanted to cry.
Oh God, I wanted to cry,
yet my eyes stayed dry.
If ever I was given a task,
something to believe,
something to hold,
something to have…
oh my,
oh my,
God,
why?

W. James Beard, Jr.