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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
i step to the edge once more with anticipation and overwhelming fear that i will fall again my heart screams but my lips hold tightly to every word if i speak of what i fear what i want will it be wasted on deaf ears if i show you what is me would you still desire a look if i give myself all that i am all i will be will i get you all that you are all that you will be if i close my eyes raise my arms fall back can i trust you to be there to lift me up and carry me to heights i've never been |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
Good job, and I hope that person is there to pick you up when you do fall back. The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, not the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship." --Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
Danni~ This is a great poem and i'm kind of disapointed to see such a good poem on page two with only 1 reply come on guyz!Good work.I hope to read more  ~Angie [This message has been edited by just_another_fe (edited 03-30-2000).] |
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Broken Wings Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157Miami, FL. |
Well Done! I hope he will be there to share his all and be his all with you. good luck! take care Broken Wings "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth." -IYANLA VANZANT |
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Hope, tears, and renewal Member
since 2000-03-27
Posts 74 |
Great poem. I hope you can trust that person... we all need someone to catch us if we fall. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
many thanks to you all for your kind replies. |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
good work... i'am gald i did'nt miss out... i agree with angie If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Think you used good expression with this verse. Could feel the hesitation to make that fall, not knowing if it would be a soft or hard landing. Nice writing. A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"If I show you what is me would you still desire a look". I used to feel like that and I think it was a fear I had of being rejected...I probably still have some of those feelings but I accept the truth that everyone will be rejected sometimes and the journey is to find someone who will accept us as we are. James |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I hope you find it Danni, you deserve it. We all want our signifigant other to be there and understand the good and bad in us. Well written There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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ZuMBLe Junior Member
since 2000-03-27
Posts 33 |
if i close my eyes raise my arms fall back can i trust you to be there to lift me up and carry me to heights i've never been That is very powerful... trust is a precious thing. I really liked this poem. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this is beautiful, the hope overcomes the fear and you fly!! Kathleen |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
WEll written , I find the hardest thing for me to do is trust and you have done a great job describing the emotions and questions the desire to trust brings Mystical being which makes ink flow Surround me in your incandescent glow Fill my brain with thoughts and rhyme As I try to capture but a moment in time ~Shan~ |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
This is a giving of your all, what else can you do. Love this, and you. Joel. |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
avanti-thank you. i'm glad you didn't miss it too. danny-thank you also. i guess after you hit hard so many times, you become more and more hesitant. jmlee- you are right. it is about finding the one that will accept you as you are. but rejection still always hurts. especially after being strung along. thank you for the comments. isis- many thanks to you also. ya know, i won't be modest, i really do deserve it. and i really hope that i have found it this time. zumble- trust is absolutely a most precious thing. without it, a relationship and love cannot survive. thank you. irish- thank you very much. and yes, as much as i might try to fight it, for fear, the hope does overcome, in time. starr-this is the exact product of being betrayed time and time again. by just about everyone i have ever known. and to my surprise, i am still willing to trust again. i am just a little more careful, and question alot more. thanks for the comments. joel- when it comes down to it, that is all that one can do. a take it or leave it kind of deal. it would be nice though, if the one you gave to, would decide a lot quicker. before you get attached, you know? my thanks goes to you too. |
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NamelessOne Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 197Biloxi MS |
cool poem,describes what we all must go through to find someone we can trust and love. good stuff |
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