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Tess
Member

since 2000-03-22

Posts 288
Australia

0 posted 2000-03-23 09:04 AM

So what!

You want me to applaud your achievement
Of self-mutilation
Your expressive
Artistic act
Of self- annihilation

I walked the white hot embers too
Smelt the burning flesh
But felt nothing.

Saw the red raw underside
Exposed
Without feeling

Heard the cries
of horror
from shocked bystanders
but registered no pain.

And I'd do it again.

No hesitation
No sensation
Just pure elation
In the pain.

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two
bodies."
-Aristotle

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-03-23 10:29 AM

WOW tess....what a powerful piece...

You want me to applaud your achievement
Of self-mutilation
Your expressive
Artistic act
Of self- annihilation
----------------
No hesitation
No sensation
Just pure elation
In the pain.
------------

such vivid emotional images...
the rhyme is perfect and that last verse...
awesome.
take care, jm

and you can say baby...
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if told you the right words...
at the right time,
you'd be mine...
baby can I hold you tonight...
tracy chapman

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

2 posted 2000-03-23 11:54 AM

wow,powerful stuff..it stays with this reader...what terrible things must have happened to the poet so much so that he even seeks solace and comfort from pain????!!!!

very dark piece..WELL DONE

")

Broken Wings
Member

since 2000-03-18

Posts 157
Miami, FL.

3 posted 2000-03-23 07:23 PM

very powerful, its sad but true..in a way pain lets you know that your still alive.

**hug**
take care,
Broken Wings

"As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth."
-IYANLA VANZANT

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

4 posted 2000-03-23 08:36 PM

Self mutalation is a call for help, we should feel sympathy for them, but I can understand your point in this one...
Still, I'll never understand it myself..
Wonderful emotional piece

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)

dhuron
Member

since 2000-03-19

Posts 476

5 posted 2000-03-23 09:43 PM

Seeking Peace within Chaos and Pain.

Different, but your piece pours emotion and pain....

Great work

Tess
Member

since 2000-03-22

Posts 288
Australia

6 posted 2000-03-24 12:16 PM

JM, Kaile, Broken Wings, Isis and dhuron thanks so much for your comments

"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two
bodies."
-Aristotle

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