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Dark Poetry #1
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Keli1019
Junior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 31
FL

0 posted 2000-03-20 07:45 PM


This poem isn't good, and I don't even know why I'm about to post it. I must be crazy to post this one....But here goes anyways.....


                ~Untitled~

I silently cry to myself
as I pick up my stuff
and leave to head home.

"What have I done?" I think to myself.

He kisses me gently
on the cheek as I'm heading out the door.
I want to hide from my shame.

Walking down the crowded street,
Everyone seems to stare.
I imagine what they're whispering
behind my back.
Trying to hold on to my dignity,
I continue on,
although I've just lost my virginity.


Three years later,
I walk down the same street,
remembering my shame.
Wishing I could have changed that day,
but glad to know it's just a part of the past.

But now I live every day with fear.
Fearing my mistake will one day resurface...
Until it does, I remain haunted by that memory,
of that day three years ago.


 "It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a
day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone."

© Copyright 2000 Kelly - All Rights Reserved
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
1 posted 2000-03-20 08:25 PM


Honey this IS good.  It is almost a Prose type piece, you could post similar stuff in prose sometimes too.
I liked it, so stop putting yourself down, ok?
*hugs*

 There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-03-20 09:16 PM


Keli, this is very good...dont prerequisite your work with doubt...post it with pride...
this poem is so full of your pure honest emotions that it made it perfect.courageous subject as well.
take care, jm

 and you can say baby...
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if told you the right words...
at the right time,
you'd be mine...
baby can I hold you tonight...
tracy chapman



KimW
Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 268
Medford, Oregon, USA
3 posted 2000-03-20 09:22 PM


I really have to agree with Isis and Janet Marie on this Keli!

It IS GOOD and your raw emotion comes through powerfully!


TanAngel
Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 168
Oviedo, Florida, USA
4 posted 2000-03-20 09:37 PM


This IS good! Just take some pride (like I am one to talk right!)...you put a lot of emotion in this and shows by leaping through the seams of your work!

 "Sheltered from the world you scare yourself from the rain...away from the dark sickning fog that so stumblest unto your heart...for no true poet holds loves hand..."-TanAngel

StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
5 posted 2000-03-21 12:55 PM


Keli this is definately GOOD !! Speak from your heart don't judge whether it is good or not just write it down ... anything that is heartfelt is good !!!

 "A poet is one who spends a lifetime standing out in thunderstorms, waiting to be hit by lightning"
~Randal Jarrell~



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