Dark Poetry #1 |
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Passing the Time Away |
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Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA ![]() |
"Passing the Time Away" Joining a state of consciousness I'd rather leave unsaid I find a plane of pleasantness My body turns to lead The clouds begin to wander by Angels within the smoke I fight the feeling, wanting to cry Only forming a choke The trickle of salt down my face Has left my liner run My friends take off in absurd chase To find a loaded gun Wish my time would wither away And leave me to my maze I know not one excuse to stay 'Cept to enjoy the haze My friends have found the instrument For my self-destruction I volunteer to implement Their foolish instruction Whizz the cylinder, "Watch me gang, The barrels at my head..." Squeezeclick, squeezeclick, squeezeclick, squeezeBANG 'Why am I not yet dead?' --Wrote this one a while ago when I didn't think too highly of my life or myself. I'm kind of glad I'm not seeing every minute like this anymore... Thank goodness for the small victories! --Jamie ![]() ![]() |
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© Copyright 2000 Jamie Carlson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
YEA YEA...jamie has come to the dark sandbox to play.. ![]() Wish my time would wither away And leave me to my maze I know not one excuse to stay 'Cept to enjoy the haze My friends have found the instrument For my self-destruction I volunteer to implement Their foolish instruction ------------ wow Jamie, this is dark and powerful... Im glad you dont feel this way anymore eihter.. though we all have our days... very well written and expresses...(chills) glad you snuck out of the pub(smile) take care, jm Now for me some words come easy But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch You never knew what I loved in you I don't know what you loved in me Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be jackson browne |
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Broken Wings Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157Miami, FL. |
I understand the feelings you were going through. I'm also gald that you don't see life in that way 24/7 anymore. take care Broken Wings ![]() "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth." BY: IYANLA VANZANT |
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Aiden Kelly Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 148Ft. Wayne, IN USA |
i'm glad you made it through...i have a friend who commited suicide that way... you truly have a way with words, hon! the rhythm is almost more of a cadence in how natural it sounds. very vivid imagery. great work. ![]() |
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Jesse Jaymz Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708Youngstown, ohio |
glad to see that you made it through. it took a dark night in may for me to figure out that i needed to live my life to the fullest. there is 13 scars on my arm to remind me of what not to do. now i can see the light. and it is a damn good one. great poem Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just a frieght train coming your way... MetallicA |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Welcome to the dark forum Jaime!! Really liked this piece, I too, am glad you are not feeling this way any longer. Just a little reminder though, nothing too graphic ok? Thanks May the world hug you today, With it's warmth and love. I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart, That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world, Wishing you well and wishing you love...... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Welcome Jamie. Powerful words and images. I understand the feelings and am happy you do not feel that way all the time. Excellent! Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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